Like a pigeon from hell

Ok, anything from hell would be unwanted. I noticed that Google’s streetview car did NOT travel down Hell For Certain road to record what it looks like. I’m sure a pigeon or two would be found somewhere on that road. (curious? Here’s a link to a map of that Kentucky road)

Oh where the hell was I?

Hmm yeah, a great line found in the lyrics of a hit song (Back on the Chain Gang) by the Pretenders.

The phone, the TV and the news of the world
Got in the house like a pigeon from hell, oh oh oh oh

Today I suggest updating it to:

Smartphone, twitter, and facebook
Got in the house like a pigeon from hell, oh oh oh oh

OR maybe just

The Mueller report
Got in the White House like a pigeon from hell, oh oh oh oh

A circumstance beyond our control, oh oh oh oh 

waiting for my oscar

Oh never mind, they don't award Oscars for just going to the movies. 😕

No award for fastest to finish off the extra large popcorn bucket. Like pie eating contests they should hold popcorn contests.

stumped on the stump

We watched the Oscars. I liked the hosting that Ellen did back in 2014 better. The playing of clips from "Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri" movie has piqued my interest in seeing that one. I really enjoyed "Fargo".

Please share your opinions about the awards show and/or any of the movies in the comment section.

✋Hold on, my train of thought will be jumping over to different set of rails now. I want to avoid causing confusion here. I realize reading my mind is not possible - yet.

I subscribed more than a year ago to an idea type site. I should just drop my email subscription now since my interest in their ideas has dropped. Any readers have a neglected set of email subscriptions like me?

I just opened up their recent email (probably get two a week). It provides a list of articles with links. One of them was:

If a nuclear bomb is dropped in your city, here’s what you need to do

Followed by:

A psychologist explains the best way to rewire the brain to let go of worrying

I found the ordering of these articles funny in a weird way. If the second one really works you don’t need to read the first one.

Over time I’ve found the site Quora a great place to discover new knowledge on many subjects. This is an email subscription I'll keep. Their accuracy in matching my interest is good but the following one left me puzzled as to why they passed it along to me.

Weapons: How far must you be from an exploding hand grenade to avoid injury?

I’m wondering if the author of that question is still around to read the answers.

Oh, I learned from watching the academy awards show that a remake(sequel?) of Mary Poppins will be released this year. Here's a parody of one of it's songs.

So how bad has it gotten

So how bad has it gotten? 
The news coverage of our politics has gotten so bad that, trumpet players have taken up the cornet.

Don’t leave. I’m NOT going to write anything more on that sad subject.

extra charge for this guy's pedi

Instead let’s discuss fantasy characters and maybe a myth or two. Regular readers of A Few Clowns Short know the myth topic is seldom covered here. Really I don’t have the time to cover all the odd ideas that cross my synapses daily. Most of those odd ideas could be turned into a decent myth. I wrote about myths way back in 2011. (link )

Much like that 2011 post and many others for that matter, this post came about in a convoluted manner. Do you care? If no, then skip ahead.

I have in-laws who subscribed to the New Yorker (they would like the one liner at the top of this post). They started moving around frequently and decided to send the magazine to our house. They typically read it online anyway. You may know/experienced the high quality of writing in the New Yorker. I suspect some people may get it just for the cartoons.

I found this piece titled, “Fantastic Beasts and How to Rank Them” in Nov. 6 issue very thought provoking. (link )

I must say the first thing that caught my attention was at the very top of the page - Dept. of Speculation. 

Wow that’s exactly what I need here. I would certainly appoint myself as the first head of the department. Call myself Chief of Speculation. Enough about my organizational plans.

The author, Kathryn Schulz, writes, 

“One of the strangest things about the human mind is that it can reason about unreasonable things.”

The article centers around the workings of “willing suspension of disbelief”. I learned that idea goes back to the 1790’s. Even if you don’t belief in Spiderman or Wonder Woman you can still get very involved in their stories. How does this suspension of disbelief work? Ms. Schulz offers up various ideas about this ranging from the creature's biological makeup (size of Big Foot) to the physical nature of their powers (transformation of a vampire).

Within her discussion on judging the plausibility of fantastical beings there is a suggested game for your next party. Create a list of supernatural/mythical beings and ask your guests to rank their plausibility. I plan to try this and expect some interesting conversations. Now if it is a Christmas party, I suggest not including Santa or his elves.

Here’s my list:

• Wonder Woman
• Mermaid
• Big Foot
• Extraterrestrials visiting earth
• Angels
• Zombies
• Vampires
• Werewolves
• Flying fire breathing dragons
• Ghosts (do you agree an angel is not a ghost?)

Remember you do not need to actually believe in these creatures just rank them. If you are wondering, I rank mermaid as most plausible and flying dragons as least.

I agree with what she writes toward the end:

“Yet, in the end, what’s most remarkable is not that our fantasies contain so much reality; it is that our reality contains so much fantasy.”

And

“Better, perhaps, to know that what we feel in our happiest moments has some truth to it: life is magical.”

Unrelated to this speculation exercise - I found a TED talk that Kathryn Schulz gave on the importance of embracing our own fallibility. It was given in 2011 and still applies now as it did then. Maybe more so. Worth watching.

I tried taking a shower

I don’t know if it actually helped. It has helped in the past.

Singing in the shower - I’m skeptical of the idea.

I can't sing but I'm not blue

I do find showers relaxing and conducive to thinking. Often during my engineering career, I experienced beneficial critical thinking during a shower. I don’t know if it will help this post but at least I smell better now.

I’m not trying to be retro, but I do enjoy radio programs. My favorite is Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me. I have mentioned this in past posts. It’s a NPR game show about recent news. Often I learn about odd/strange news. Don’t you feel like some lighter strange news is needed given all the tragic/frightening news we have had lately?

On the subject of smell, I found this story used in a recent show to be a truth-stranger-than-fiction example. It was about a British student and his first date with a lovely lady he met on tinder. The story has the elements of comedy; poop, failure to fix an embarrassing situation, getting stuck hanging upside down, rescue by the fire department. A window was destroyed so the student started a Go-Fund-Me campaign. With such a strange and funny story he exceeded his goal by 10 times. The extra is going to charity for toilets in developing countries and a firefighter charity. The story found on the Go-Fund-Me page is worth reading - link

Proof it really did happen, here’s the fire department write-up - link

My next bit of odd news comes from a Chicago radio program called Curious City. Again it is worth following the link. Until hearing this I didn’t know Chicago public schools required boys to swim in the nude for gym class. Apparently the nude swimming was common among schools across the nation from the 20’s through the 50’s. Some Chicago schools kept the practice into the 70’s. I thought the very public shower after gym class was embarrassing enough. My high school didn’t have a pool. Curious City story

I don't golf but I love hash browns

Remember the news that you learn here at the Lisleman’s Institute for Better Postings could be valuable to you or your descendants. (actually if you happen to discover any use for anything you learn here, I would love to know)

read on to discover why this picture is not extraneous

Now this strange story may have already popped up on your internet travels since it's very strange. There's a recall of hash browns because of golf balls. Actually “extraneous golf ball materials” was the description used in the McCain Foods recall announcement. Extraneous does sound better than the synonym irrelevant but I would suggest the straight forward approach of "we-have-no-f'ing-clue-how" golf ball ..."

Really? how would golf balls get mixed into a supply of potatoes? (now can-you-believe-it President Trump does own many golf courses - just saying)

Here's a real news story link on this recall.

Other than my wife's great hash browns, my favorite hash browns are found at the Waffle House. Good coffee and food for a reasonable price. Their scattered smothered and peppered hash brown dish is my favorite. I seldom order their waffles. Their scattered hash browns offer many options but not golf balls.

Fee fi fiddley aye, oh - another tweet selected by the tweet judge Eric Zorn of the Chicago Tribune: "What kind of psychopath works on the railroad all the live long day just to pass the time away?"

OH WAIT - there's more:

For all readers that have scrolled this far down, here's a song about Waffle House performed by Sturgill Simpson and Stephen Colbert.



(my sad disclaimer - unfortunately, items such as waffles, hash browns, or coffee were NOT provided to me by the Waffle House for this post.)

pasta and rabbit holes

Disclaimer - Does it surprise you that this post has nothing to do with actual pasta or a rabbit hole? I didn’t think so.

The pasta refers to Pastafarians. While the rabbit hole is taken from an expression taken from my corporate days, “we don’t need to go down that rabbit hole.”

My Church of the Donut is referenced below

In tribute to Lewis Carroll, I’ll explain the rabbit hole expression first. Now some of you may have used this expression but I’m not sure it is very common. I have often heard it used during business meetings. The moderator/leader would use it to close off discussion on subjects not pertinent to the meeting. It’s not unusual that slightly related ideas/problems will distract from the main purpose of the meeting. Lewis Carroll’s Alice followed a rabbit down its hole and didn’t return for a long confusing time. Now my post is not a tutorial on how to have productive meetings, so let’s move on.

Have you heard about The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster?

Taken from FSM site

I have heard of them but honestly forgot about them until a recent local news story (you might also forget about them after this post). The members of this church are called Pastafarians. According to the religion, the Flying Spaghetti Monster resembling a floating clump of tangled spaghetti and meatballs created the universe with "His Noodly Appendages".

The Flying Spaghetti Monster was first described by hammock enthusiast, Bobby Henderson, in a 2005 open letter to the Kansas School Board protesting the teaching of intelligent design. ( ding dong the witch is dead - oddly the wizard and his city of Oz are also related to Kansas)

report from Chicago Tribune site

The local news story -

Decision to ban colander from driver's license photo strains belief

(I enjoyed the headline before I even started reading the article by Eric Zorn)

This past June a young lady in Illinois requested to be allowed to wear a metal colander on her head for her official drivers license photo. Now this has been done successfully in other states and countries. I found a few examples on the FSM web site. (oh, I would have hated to be held up behind her in line as they debated the colander)

Even though the state employees said no at first, as you can see in the picture above this young lady was very insistent and got her way. Well that is, until the higher-ups in the head office found out. They told her that her license will be revoked at the end of July unless she gets a new photo sans head ornament. (hey it’s an ongoing story - future post material?)

My opinion on the photo ID -
I agree with the state. A legal photo ID should not have full freedom of speech rights. I think she has the right to wear her head strainer anywhere she likes just like political people can wear their Trump, Hillary, Bernie hats and shirts. But I don't think we should allow hats with any message we want on them in a legal photo ID.

Now the rabbit holes -
Many rabbit holes available in this story. There is freedom of speech, freedom of religion, separation of church and state, evolution, definition of religion, definition of a myth, science, intelligent design, respect for others religion, and ones that you could think of that I missed. Important topics but NOT ones I wish to discuss here in this post. Don't lead me down a rabbit hole in the comments.

This story reminded me a post I did back in 2013 when the conclave of Cardinals had elected a new pope and I did a post about all the papal stuff in the news. Later I came across a picture (same one as the first one above) and thought it would be great to start the Church of the Donut. Here’s that post.

Now I would love to have a conclave of donuts (with good coffee) and get this church idea going. However, I would not encourage or expect to see followers holding donuts while their photo ID is taken.

Oh one last thing -
When I perused the FSM site I read this in their Q&A section:

"Let me make this clear: we are not anti-religion, we are anti- crazy nonsense done in the name of religion. There is a difference."

I understand the difference and agree with their view on that part.

Oh Jesus

Now I could easily do a post on the pros/cons of cursing but I’ll refrain. (refraining from actual cursing is a bigger issue of mine)

Also, the title doesn’t refer to any Hispanic friends of mine. I do find it interesting that other cultures can easily use a name that is special in a different cultures. Hmm, how would Lord G. Lisleman sound to you?

What’s in a name anyway?

For branding people - quite a bit. Big money and research often can go into brand names.

Yesterday and today I’ve found myself on FB more than usual. One reason for my recent FB activity was attending a high school reunion (might be a future post on that). Believe it or not, I can go days without checking FB.

While on FB I discovered brand Jesus is coming out with a new line of condiments. I’m still looking for their press release (probably takes longer to carve in stone) but I’m sure the Jesus brand will offer 10 condiments.

Here’s the first condiment:

not too spicy

something to talk about

Let’s give them something to blog about. How about conspiracy?

I feel so foolish. I’ve often noticed. Too many people shared dumb conspiracy stuff on the internet.

Maybe they like a little mystery to figure out. Maybe many are just easily influenced/duped? (cue the Fool on the Hill song)

Even the fool on the hill could see the world spinning around.

What are you thinking? 
I am picking up thoughts from you. You recall me posting about this topic just a month ago. You're wondering if you read this already. (of course my ability to do this mind reading would require both ESP and reading the future as I write this)

Why yes, I did a post about how today’s internet connections allow many to propagate annoying self generated stupid and often hateful ideas as facts.

Today instead of speculating on the reasons, I’ll try my hand at creating two fake news items. Feel free to spread this post or just the fake news items if you like. Actually, I doubt many of you will since I have no indication that the readers of this blog follow conspiracies or fake news.

Fake news can be entertaining if you know it’s fake. I’ve enjoyed and still do enjoy the Onion’s fake news. Occasionally the Onion produced a few that poked fun of a topic that I didn’t agree was at all funny. Comedy is a tricky balance.

Hopefully, I will not have started a conspiracy that started the whole world crying. That of course would mean that I didn’t see that the joke was on me.

Here’s my two fake news stories:

TSA requested to monitor restroom usage

North Carolina’s Secretary of Public Safety has requested the TSA be assigned to monitor public restroom usage. Recently a group opposed to the discriminatory bill HB2, asked how the enforcement of this law would work. The Public Safety head answered that the TSA is being requested to assign agents to check credentials of restroom users. “The TSA has a vast experience of handling long lines of anxious people”, he said. (in a related story Dolly Parton offered her opinion and possible new song lyrics - “I just know if I have to pee, I’m gonna to pee. I don’t care where it’s going to be.” link)

Lisleman replaced by a billy goat
 

Local woman fed up with her lazy husband has replaced him with a billy goat. Her husband called 911 to request police assistance. He says in the call, “It makes no sense. Long ago I was the troll in a parade. I chased the billy goats during the parade. If anything I should be replaced by another troll, not a billy goat.” The chained up billy goat gave no response.

People are blogging. Blogging about people. I read their posts. You won’t believe it. Now they have at least two more things to blog about.

hooked on a youtube

I can’t stop this clip deep inside my brain.

I I I'm hooked on a youtube clip.

Ouga Chaka Ouga Ouga Ouga Chaka (I’m certain that means bit hit song in Swedish.)

OK, let’s back up a bit. Watch your step. You don’t want to fall on your ouga chaka.

Remember Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid? That was way way before the Sundance film festival. Well Raindrops-Keep-Falling-on-my-Head B.J. Thomas had a big hit singing about raindrops for the movie’s soundtrack. (oh talk about dangerous helmet-less bicycle riding check out the movie clip of this song)

Now that I dried the rain from my ears, where was I? Oh yeah, back to B.J. Thomas. He had another minor hit with “Hooked on a Feeling”. No ougas or chakas in his version. (here’s a link if you don't care for the bigger hit version)

So this short lived Swedish band (nothing like ABBA) called Blue Swede, released an odd cover of the song in 1973. It becomes a bigger international hit than the B.J. Thomas version. That’s what Ouga Chaka can do for you. I remember the song and like many found the repeating ouga chaka somewhat annoying. (maybe if I write more ouga chaka in this post it will draw in more readers).

 

So then years go chaka and this odd but popular TV show comes out called Ally McBeal. Well guess what song they use in one of its most famous scenes? Ouga chaka got it. Some consider that dancing baby clip the first viral video.

 

More recently a superhero movie called “Guardians of the Galaxy” (2014) used the ouga chaka version in a scene.

The writer of “Hooked on a Feeling”, Mark James, also wrote Elvis’s hit “Suspicious Minds”. Now I have one. Does ouga chaka put people into a trance or make babies dance?


 
 

stack of pancakes

Hungry?

Although my wife makes the best buttermilk pancakes I've ever tasted, this post is not about pancakes or recipes. Do you remember me mentioning in the past that I don't cook? Unless you call microwave warming frozen food cooking. I don't.

found this at craftfail

This post is about conspiracies and their appeal.

First a bit of what I've notice:

• stack of pancakes - I've read that humans evolved into pattern recognizing beings. Animals in the clouds, mythical characters in the stars, man in the moon, Jesus on your pancake (lord I need a pancake quick). Our brains are pattern recognizers, which can useful. However, when we speculate about the meaning or predictive qualities of these patterns our thoughts end up in strange places.

• Flat Earth Society - You might not be aware but youtube is full of crazy "proofs" of a flat earth. I find it scary that these people will not accept any NASA evidence. According to them NASA is just a tool of the conspiracy to fool people with fake stuff. The main reason I include this one is because today I was reading thoughts about them being a joke or not on the forum Quora. Most conclude that they are not doing it as a joke. It's sad since our day to day surroundings (unless you are an astronaut in the international space station) fail to provide us any indication that we are standing on a sphere. This could be a great starting point for seeking out the science supporting our spherical shape and learning.
  

• youtube and other social media - I hope someday a vast majority of us will learn that social media is too easily commandeered by people/organizations with an agenda. Right now it seems the most bizarre ideas spread the quickest.

• Living through Watergate (another annoying thing - the use of "gate" on other scandals/conspiracies) - Corruption and scandals happens. The first big one to unfold in my life was Watergate. Events like that make you question your trust in organizations/government. But just because it happens doesn't mean it is happening everywhere all the time.

• No desire to research -  I initially thought that $5 bill trick was real and sorta funny. A quick internet search revealed this CraftFail website picture. Looking closer at the picture it does look fake. People (my brother for one!) so often don't bother to take a bit of time to check these strange ideas out. Ironic that they quickly mistrust experts and then even quicker trust an unknown conspiracy theorist.

Why?

I have some ideas having to do with our perceptions and difficulties understanding science. But there are many conspiracies which have nothing to do with science.

I found an interesting article about this at Salon.com. (link) In it, Professor of Cognitive Sciences, Stephan Lewandowsky, says that people hate randomness. A conspiracy theory gives them someone to blame.

Apparently, he doesn't see an end to it. He said, "...any extraordinary event will be followed by conspiracy theorizing. I can tell you that right now. Whatever happens tomorrow, there will be a conspiracy theory about it."

Would it help if conspiracy theories, propaganda and marketing schemes were discussed more in social media?

Should we stop folding our money in odd ways looking for future predictions?

Will I have pancakes this weekend? (I hope so) 

dancer in aisle 3

The lady in this video clip sure enjoys her grocery shopping. Does anyone shop like her?

This Joss Stone song has a good message and some strange characters. Enjoy:

remember the baby races

I don’t.

I am a pepperoni short of a pizza today. (not as bad as being a belt buckle short of not dropping my pants - so embarrassing) Please don't let that stop you from finishing this post and letting me know what you think.

In general we all have plenty of ideas. Unfortunately, most all of them are unattainable and possibly dangerous.

Baby Races on the beach.

did they have sunscreen back then?

While I haven’t assigned anyone on the Lisleman’s Institute for Better Postings team to research the baby race idea, I’ll just apply my skill of wild speculation to the idea.

The idea probably started before the release of the movie "Jaws". Too many scared from the beach after that movie.
 

there's the winner or whiner

I suspect there was much sand eaten. At least our kids seemed to enjoy a fresh handful of sand. Given the era, there probably were too many sunburns. (an early morning race with cool sand and low sun might be alright)

I've never witnessed a beach baby race. However, I have raced to grab a baby that thought she was turtle going to sea.

Any readers with first (or second) hand knowledge please comment and give yourself a hand if you have any left.

Two thoughts for you to ponder or just toss aside.

First a worthless idea: If I am ever inclined to beg, I would only beg for American Pie. It would be a service to generous people allowing them to say Bye Bye Miss American Pie. Everyone names their pies - right?

Second: A nearby breakfast restaurant that I would recommend for their menu, service, and price, has a very wrong idea for decorating the walls of the men’s restroom. 

here's looking at you kid

unless you're that neighbor

There's a company not too far from us that I hope the neighbors never shop at. It has been there for decades but recently I noticed they expanded their selection.

The thought that their sales might be increasing scares me.
 

WHY?

Why does this stuff even exist?

daredevil wears prada

Was that the movie title? Something like that.

Welcome to another edition of Lisleman’s Meaningful Advice and Thoughts.

ladder risk

don't risk running out of TP

Actually the thought of doing this post came from a recent post over at The Art of Being Conflicted blog. That post covered the selfie trend that has lead to a few trendy selfie takers dying. (here’s the link if interested)

If you want to go beyond the selfie thrill you might think GoPro camera. I’m a bit amazed that GoPro has become the name for self action movies or as many would say viral videos.

“I think we are entering an age where lifestyle in technology is becoming very important.” (from Wired article about GoPro’s IPO)

Back when I was becoming of age (am I now becoming of aged?) lifestyle wasn’t a word I or anyone I knew used much at all. Of course, I didn’t have a very stylish life.

Here’s a thought/question - are there more daredevils taking risks today than in years past? I’m not sure.

There has always been people pushing the limit and their luck to reach a bigger thrill. I remember watching the famous Evil Knievel jump public fountains and canyons with his high powered cycles. If you visit Niagara Falls you’ll find the story of daredevils riding (and dying) in barrels over the falls.

There could be more people pushing their daredevil luck. It could be a trendy thing. One thing is sure, today their stunts are widely and quickly spread via the viral video. The viral video I’ve embedded in this post has over 13 million views.

I discovered this video from an article I read at the National Geographic site. (link) The daredevil, (nows makes a living riding bikes) Danny MacAskill is 30 years old. In the article Danny says: 

“...I trust all of my equipment because I’ve spent thousands of hours working on my bikes. You just make sure your shoelaces are tied…”

If Prada ever gets into the handlebar grips market, this guy would be a great for promos. Oh one more thought, - I consider women wearing some of these extreme high heeled shoes - daredevils a step away from a snapped ankle.

Lisleman’s great advice - don’t forget tying your shoes!

photobombing

Don't you agree photobombing the best type of bombing?

big eyes but I'm not little red riding hood

While I make no claims on anything other than maybe those extra fries you have on your plate, I do hope some of my humor lightens your day.   The news can sure bring us down too often.

Here's a funny take on the dangers of selfie sticks.  Oh, I heard of a great idea for selfie sticks and now I want one.  Use a selfie stick to stop people from taking selfies (just don't hit hard).





Instead of the selfie, focus on the odd and funny things you see around you (like old men trying to steal your fries).  I noticed this sign the other day.  Now don't you agree it's much better than a selfie of some old guy like me?

 

what’s in a name

Bill Shakes Apear once said something like, “What's in a name? that which we call a donut by any other name would taste as sweet.”

Her face looked familiar. Then I heard that ringing laugh. Its ring transported back to my late teens. She could be none other than Isabelle Tolling. I had to turn around and find out.

“Isabelle, Isabelle Tolling”, I ask.

She looks, gives a long stare and says, “Ben Fardown?”

“No, no, I’m Dat, Dat Nutin”.

“Dat, Ben, I have forgotten too many nicknames. Yes I remember now. Wow it’s been a long long time.”

“Long Long Time, Linda Ronstadt Silk Purse album, 1970”, I shoot back.

“Oh yeah, Dat the nutin lyrics geek. It’s all coming back now. Wow, remember hanging out with Freddy, Holly, Cina -”. There seems to be more names trying to get out of her head but she pauses.

“What ever happened to Holly Moses? God, remember her blowing up over our waters jokes.”

“I searched for her on Facebook awhile ago. After Cina found me. No luck.”

“Facebook, what love hate relationship that site is for me. How’s Cina Bunn?”

“She moved to west coast. Really into the mediation natural living earth thing. Raises chickens.”

“Chicken and buns. Hmm, that’s making me hungry. I wonder if she makes good gravy.”

Isabelle cuts me off with, “Holly had a secret crush on you, you know.”

“What? No way. Really? Sister Golden Hair - “

“America, 1975!” she quickly completes for me.

“Good one! Clueless me. I was busy spending time and money on Mindy Orrbizess. Turned out to be a big wasted effort. Her friend Moon B. Ova finally showed me the light.”

“Well maybe her crush was short lived. No matter, it’s long past now.” she reminds me.

"Old flames, then smoke gets in your eyes. So tell me, how long did you date Chuck Crunchin Sands?”.

“Hey be nice, he hated being called Crunchin.”

“Ha, he be crunchin loud all through the cafeteria. His crunching drove Mickey D. Holdpickle nuts. When I look back, I didn’t like the Ahem U. Gointufinishthat name I had for awhile. ”

She laughs and looks out the window. “Time sure does fly. Fun to reminisce but I’m running late for a meeting. Let’s friend each other.”

“Funny how friend became an action verb. Sure, dat be fine.”

Memories keep flowing in as Isabelle turns and disappears out on to the street. Using those nicknames again kicks the idea of writing swirling in my head.


Hey if you listened to the hits in the sixties you might remember singing this name game:



 
Ok, what do you think? Will this nickname idea become A Few Clicks Short of a Pageview?

bits, pieces, whatever, and a doll with a penis

Yes, I admit I could not figure out how to work "a doll with a penis" into my title.  Jump to the end of this post if you just want to know about that development.

Warning: The post you are about to read contains Lisleman’s distortions and speculations. The truth is out there, I just don’t know where.

a dog with a beer

Fresh from the Lisleman Institute for Better Posting,  I bring you bits and pieces of news with my expert opinion tacked on.  Our first alert comes from our sweet smelling reporter, Cina Bunn.

"So please tell us Cina, what startling news did you uncover in your digging through the recent blizzard."

(ok you could pretend I just cut to Cina reporting in from a coffee shop with snow piled up on the windows but lets get real I don't even have the budget to pay for her coffee.)


Cina reports a surprise result coming from the recent blizzard that snowed-in much of the eastern US.  We now have a new relationship status (you'll know it's real when FB adds it to their list) called "blizzard buddy".

I can't imagine a guy being successful by offering himself as a blizzard buddy.  I guess any hope of a lasting relationship is thrown to the curb when the snowplows clear the roads.

I just don't see any appeal in this.  Hmm, I have a threatening blizzard headed my way and power outages are likely - I think I'll go over to this stranger's place I found on the internet and enjoy the storm there.  Oh yeah, that's a great plan.

same dog with a book

I repeat myself too often. Once again I remind the reader that I do not own a smartphone but I have scrolled through one once. The next story concerns a new app which lacks good judgement in my opinion. Once again quick app development and potential to make money probably outweighed common sense judgement.

A new app called KeyMe allows the user to take a selfie of a key.  The key image is stored up on the cloud (gee corporate servers are so secure these days - not).  Then anytime you might need a key (oh for example you lost one or need to break into an apartment of blizzard buddy) you stop at a special key making kiosks and get a new one.  You can also order one over the internet.

The company's CEO says, "So it is a super convenient way to get spare keys." I've learned that convenience and security don't go together well.  No thanks, we have neighbors who have copies of our key.



Oh yeah, the last part of my post title.  Today I learned there is a boy doll on the market that come complete with his ding-a-ling.  (just a minute I need to get my background music of "My Ding-a-ling" playing, ok)  As I have learned many things before, I learned this while blog browsing.  Unknown Mami posted a funny story about this new boy doll that was a gift for her daughter.

Now I don't see any problem with this anatomically correct doll except for the location of a few noticeable screws (see Unknown Mami's post for pictures).  I just don't see any big benefit in having dolls like this. Dolls and other toys should encourage imagination, story telling and fun play. They don't need to be training devices for future med students.

same dog with a sweater

For those that might be wondering, the dog is named Mazi and belongs to our daughter.  These pictures were taken when she was younger and the baby hadn't arrived on the scene yet.

lets go to the beach and protest

Is there an award for protest creativity?

I would nominate this group in Australia who protested the G20 meeting and climate change issues. 

I don't know if they had a check-your-bum qualification screening but there are a few nice rears on that beach.  No need to wave a sign, just wave your behind.

I understand the head-in-the-sand protest was a beach bums protest to their prime minister's lack of action on climate change.  What great site to hold a protest.  Do you think they had some beach volleyball afterwards?


Photo credit - I wish I could have been at the beach to take the pictures but instead I grabbed them off this article at ITV news.