you can't buy

While queued for the checkout yesterday,... (why don’t we use the word queue more here in the US? If you like read that last bit as “waiting in line for the checkout”)
Anyway, I’m standing there looking at all the impulse buying items which apparently includes gift cards. I have bought many gift cards over the years but never on an impulse. That said, I don’t know of a better place to put a rack of gift cards. Now where was I in this story. Oh yeah.

I spot this empty peg hook that has a small tag hanging at the very inside spot. Maybe it’s a placeholder tag? The small tag reads, “Instant Happiness $25”. Now I’m wondering was that a real gift card I’ve never heard of before. Another customer lines up behind me who appears to be similar to me in age. I turn to this brother-from-another-mother and tell him that they have sold out of instant happiness and point to the empty spot. He laughs. Then I continue with “and it was only $25”. “That’s why they sold out” he jokingly replies.

Now I started to title this post "I don’t get out much". But that’s all relative. I did do a quick image search on “instant happiness gift card” and found my answer. Well I’m not sure it really is instant happiness but I do enjoy Chipotle’s burrito made with barbacoa.

On the subject of image searching (oh didn’t you know we were on that subject - pay attention) do an image search on “you can’t buy happiness” and you’ll see all types of signs. They are mostly in the form of “you can’t buy happiness but you can buy ____ “.

Penny for my thoughts? Actually they are free on my blog posts. I do appreciated donated comments from the readers. Your comment donation is not tax deductible. Be satisfied in knowing your comment is contributing to the preservation of blogs.

Any airline pilots out there reading this? I was listening to a discussion on distracted driving (a serious problem for us). One expert/panelist/random caller, mentioned that talking on the phone has the benefit of breaking up the boredom of driving. A call can leave us more awake/alert.

My disjointed train of thought delivered up this question: Do bored airline pilots cruising on a long flight ever play the “I spy” game for fun?

 

Clap along if you know what happiness is to you. Not a burrito!

Something to brag about

For many years I was proud to say that I had never stepped foot in an IKEA store. There are several in our general area. I forgot to record the date but months ago I did visit a nearby one and walked around it for awhile. One of our daughters and her husband were there to buy something. I guess they felt the need to assemble something.

I do recall their free paper tape rulers. Great idea for a furniture store. I took a few home.

Did you happen to see the news story on IKEA in Shanghai? (BTW, do people still use the phrase, “got Shanghai’d”) 


According to this story (link) elderly are shopping for more than DIY furniture at the Shanghai IKEA store. They are shopping for love. From the article:

“...most of the regulars were seeking light flirtation rather than a hot dog or a glass of lingonberry cordial, management has grown tired of allowing their restaurant to be used as a makeshift singles club.”

This reminds me of when I and a group friends would be thrown out of restaurants because of overstaying our small order of maybe three sodas. We thought three soft drinks should be worth three hours of hanging out.

The best buy - I’m not referring to the store. No I mean the idea. I understand getting a good price, a good deal. I just don’t worry or spend much time trying to achieve the best possible buy. I think the best buy will probably come at a time way off in the future. You know when nobody is buying whatever it was that you fretted over trying to get the best buy. Here’s a question - how far will you drive to save five cents on a gallon of gas?

Oh since you have read this far down, it's your lucky day. You qualify to follow the following link and read my opinion of pillows. IMHO a better post than this one. check it out it's free -  pillow talk

you already know this

The other day I’m at the grocery store on a short important mission from she-knows-the-sales. Since the other place we often shop doesn’t carry a particular type of cereal I logically determine it would benefit my future breakfasts if I picked up a box while on my mission. This item was not listed in my directive from she-knows-the-sales.

It took me awhile to find it. This cereal is a brand name that I believe is popular among most adults. Of course there are now adults younger than our youngest daughter so maybe my guess of its popularity is off. I concluded that it was hard to find because this type of cereal doesn’t have coating of sugar or fruit flavors added to it. There are too many sugary fake fruity kids cereals on those shelves. They should reclassify these as candy and move them to the appropriate aisle.

Ok, I know getting fresh fruit, washing it, slicing it and placing it in your cereal bowl is more effort than just pouring a bowl of sugary fake fruity flakes. However the fresh fruit offers better nutrition and tastes better. I don’t cook. I mostly heat up stuff, microwave or make a sandwich. However, cleaning and slicing some fruit for my cereal is no big effort. If I can do it, an eight year old could probably do it. A baby ape can peel a banana.

I wonder if I would be here today writing these statements if my mom gave me just the sugary fake flavored stuff all the time. Most all cereal has sugar included in its contents. Why do you need to make each spoonful taste like a piece of sugar candy?

I found a picture of one of these sugary fake fruity cereals I'm ranting about. This one has been around longer than some of you. Can you name it?

looks like plastic

Kellogg’s introduced Froot Loops in 1962. There is no actual fruit in Froot Loops. You probably knew that (actually there might froot in it since nobody know what froot is). Also since 1962, kids have been misspelling the word fruit which might be an excuse for not having fruit at home.

I remember Froot Loops and other sugary cereals as a kid. I also remember not having them offered to me very often.

Here’s another twist to the reclassification idea. Just create an adult cereal section.

Please note: This post was NOT sponsored by any cereal company. However, if one would like to offer me some adult type of cereal I would gladly eat and review it.

typically skeptical

Back in 2010, I wrote about the intense confusion I felt just buying some shampoo (old post). I felt like I was at a fruit stand as I perused the shampoo selection. What is your favorite fruit smelling shampoo?

we need Cheetos shampoo to go with this lip balm

Given about 6000 plus years of cosmetic development, I suppose it should be expected that all types of concoctions are sold to enhance one’s looks. My skeptical side is always waiting to jump into my internal debate on the value of products. Those 6000+ years also provided lessons in refining the con-games.

Have I mentioned I trimmed up my shaggy head the other day? I imagine sheep being sheared when I go to the hair salon. This time I prepared an important question for the stylist: 
Does caffeine in shampoo provide any benefits?
(meaning benefits to the user not the manufacturer)

The background on this question was the recent bottle of shampoo the-one-shops-more-than-me brought home for my use. "... engineered specifically for men's hair. Enriched with caffeine ... gives a kick of active freshness" (what would dormant freshness smell like?)

I could tell the stylist wasn’t expecting my inquiry but I don’t work for 60 Minutes (I was a regular watcher of that show years ago) so I went easy on her. She did say it might have a skin tightening effect and is found in skin products. Her answers left me thinking more research is still needed before I post about it. (not that I promise any level of research for my posts. There are times I spin too much in my office chair and words are thrown onto my laptop.)

shampoo and time travel study

Well golly gee, this caffeine infused shampoo concept might not be flittershitters after all. (two months in a row with flittershitters used in a post - yes!)

Apparently there have been some real studies done on the efficacy of caffeine in shampoo. (just use the word efficacy in a paper and more people will pay attention)

A few words from that study abstract:

“...caffeine in concentrations of 0.001% and 0.005% were found to counteract the suppressive effects of testosterone on hair growth...”

Fortunately baldness has never visited my head so I doubt this caffeine will do anything for me. It might brighten my mind during my shower generating more cosmic questions for future postings. Hopefully, it doesn’t keep my hair up at night.

Gypsies tramps and thieves and target

Do you think Target is run by a bunch of gypsies, tramps and thieves? 

I would NOT say that because gypsies and tramps never cause the volume of trouble that Target has. Associating them with Target would be degrading.

cher was a leader in revealing up to the limit

But we have now learned that Target and thieves do go together. The market for stolen credit cards is huge. This article at KrebsonSecurity was an eye opener about the stolen credit market. The online card shop for thieves is described as “remarkably efficient and customer-friendly”.

The biggest immediate problem for me is the hassle of updating the service providers/ utilities we have linked to our card account. Our bank proactively canceled and re-issued us a card. A scary possibility is future ID theft.

The long term problem is we all get to pay for this because the increase costs in security will be passed on the customers eventually.

Anyone out there who can remember when many stores did not take credit cards might remember that Cher sang about gypsies tramps and thieves. (I know of a great hot dog stand that STILLS only takes cash.) Enjoy a little Cher and Carol Burnett.

future Amazon drone pilot

I see flying robots. I want to grow up to be an Amazon drone pilot.

(note: This post is not sponsored by Amazon.  Occasionally I am a customer of Amazon. I really enjoy their odd product reviews on a dull day.  If they have a paid program to become a drone pilot, I'm in.)

They will have pilots right?

The drones can’t be foolproof enough to fly autonomously - right?

If you have not heard the news of Amazon drones then you probably were out shopping. Maybe you are recovering in the hospital from your black Friday battles. Here’s a link to the story.

Sure the drone could figure out the location with GPS. How could it possibly handling my neighbor’s kid? I suspect he is already developing his rocket powered net trap that shoots out from their tall tree. It would too expensive to equip the drone with surface-to-air missile warnings.

Of course telling the world that your company has this technology “under development” is not the same as actually releasing the service. The announcement did create a buzz (hey this blog wrote about it) and that free news coverage might have paid for the development so far. I wish I could announce a hair-brain idea for this blog and get that type of buzz. Hmm, I know, Lisleman is developing a technology to project my blog posts on the side of recycle collection trucks around the nation.

Also what happens when Walmart and Target join in the flying package delivery? You know this all started with Santa and his sleigh. But he flew his sleigh. I don’t think the reindeer were in charge.  Santa as a drone doesn't inspire me to leave out cookies and milk.

Imagine in a few years seeing competing drones buzzing around. The competition attacks could get so bad they might need to deploy fighter escorts. Now that would be fun job, Amazon fighter drone pilot. Flying into the danger zone. Where’s Kelly Mcgillis? (BTW, according to the internet Kelly is 56 now - that makes feel older than this drone idea)

Take my package away!



Watching that clip reminded that white t-shirts have never looked as sexy as they did in that movie. 

time to take the black out of black friday

Ok, I confess I have a sensitivity to shopping, ads about shopping, news stories about shopping and the negative drain shopping makes on an account balance. I’m probably just too over sensitivity to it. Or maybe I’m suffering from Post Traumatic Shopping Day (PTSD).

The constant references to black Friday for the past few weeks are giving me headaches. I just can not fathom the vast amount of deals I have missed by not being at all these “ONE TIME DOORBUSTER” whatever events.

Yeah, when did shopping become an EVENT??

I thought shows, concerts, sports, racing, etc., type of things were events. Shopping is not an event! It’s a transaction between a customer fulfilling a need (or desire or a child's demand) for an item they value enough to buy with a merchant wanting to profit by parting with said item. Shopping typically is boring. At times it can become painful.

Warning - you have now reach the point of yet another Lisleman idea. (note reading Lisleman ideas has been shown to cause nausea in certain individuals)

Black Friday should be renamed to a nicer friendly-mood type of color.
I suggest - Fushia Friday

While on this name-of-the-day topic, here are a few more to toss around those stupid ads.

Mint Monday
Taupe Tuesday
Watermelon Wednesday

 

I still haven’t found what I’m blogging for

You probably thought this might be another attempt at a parody song. No not this time. (you do read the post titles?) However I will leave a related youtube clip at the bottom.

bet that kid owns a smartphone today

Reflective moments (other than the mirror in the morning) offer us many life choices to ponder. I recently replied to a daughter’s FB posting: 

“wondering what-ifs only helps if you apply it to the future.”

I should slightly change this post title. I have found some of what I’ve been blogging for. I’m thankful for the feedback and sharing that comes with blogging. I honestly believe a few of my posts have lighten-up a reader or two.
 
I don’t remember what recent show I heard the following idea but I do think it’s very true. You can’t fake being funny. You either are or you’re not. People can pull off acting serious or dramatic easier.
 
The holidays are approaching (as if you could avoid noticing). Apparently the original theme for Thanksgiving was not a big sale event, preparation for Christmas shopping, having a reason to clean the house, nor stuffing your pie-hole with pie. I understand the original theme was to share and be thankful for what we have.

I still haven’t posted what I’m looking for --- I hope it’s a long time coming because trying various posting ideas is too fun.

no shutdown of fragments

Friday Fragments keep posting because there’s no politics involved. You can elect yourself to post your own agenda of fragments and Mrs. 4444's collection of FF posts will be there for your link-up.

Oh I guess a budget is more complex than a FF post but many bloggers get their FF postings done along with all the duties of their busy lives. On the other hand, Congress has been unable to pass a budget and the accompanying appropriations bills for the past FOUR years. Ok that’s as far as I’m going with this political craziness because I try to keep this blog above politics.

I didn’t spend as much time in blogland this past week as I typically do. The reason was good. My wife and I, along with her mom, took a short trip to see this year’s Art Prize contest in Grand Rapids MI. I’ll drop one picture from our trip but I’m planning a future post(s) filled with public art pictures we viewed at the contest. (Here’s my post from last year’s Art Prize.)

LED art

I could use a good blogging right now. Relax with some background music and a fresh full comment section.

Somewhere over the rainbow - 
way up high in blogland. 
Skies are blue and the fragments you dare to post really do get read.

I wrote another (this could be a warning) parody of an oldie and worked blogging/social media into it.  tell me why

Tooth fairy inflation got you down? 
Trying to stay within a budget and still enjoy a good shopping experience? 

Lisleman’s suggestion - read customer reviews on Amazon. Most of the good reviews are for products you would never think of buying. For example, I was shock to find Radioactive Uranium Ore for sale on Amazon. (Useful for testing Geiger counters and performing nuclear experiments)

I just checked. It’s still in stock and 20% off. If it’s 20% off many people will buy no matter what it is. Here’s my favorite product review:

Whenever I fly I always pack a can of this wonder stuff in each piece of my luggage. As we all know, so many bags look alike. How often do you get to your hotel, only to find you have walked away with the wrong bag, and are forced to wear a stranger's underwear for the rest of the trip? We've all been there right? So when that confusing luggage starts whirling around the baggage claim carousel I just whip out my Geiger Counter and let the uranium go to work for me. I merely wait for those comforting clicks (and after longer flights look for the glowing hot spot) and I know I have found my bags. Occasionally airlines lose my bags (yes, it does happen people). But whenever I fill out that claim form, and let them know my uranium is missing - well I tell you, they literally SPRING into action. They'll track down that errant bag faster than you can say "Chernobyl."

And I cannot tell you how many new friends I have made in TSA and Customs since I've adopted this sure-fire system. Nothing brightens their day quite like finding a traveler with potentially fissionable material. Throw away those gaudy rainbow bag straps forever and step into the atomic age. It's no longer just uranium, it's my-ranium. Thanks Amazon!

Birds fly over the rainbow. Why oh why can’t I.

a june fragment

You don’t need pretzel logic to write Friday Fragments (FF) but it might help. The logical place to find more FF posts is over at Mrs. 4444’s blog.

Steely Dan once offered the following logic:

Yes I’m dying to be a star 

and make them laugh 

sound just a record on a phonograph 

those days are gone forever 

over a long time ago

This past week I made my youngest granddaughter giggle.  It made my day.  She's months away from turning 1 and already enjoys good Papa entertainment.

It’s been a frustrating week. Let’s keep it light here. My minor frustrations involve items such as broken glass, ruined steakburgers, torn up driveway, over heated days and a parking ticket.

Steely Dan also sang: 

The man gave me the news 

he said, you must be joking son 

where did you get those shoes

Hey look that guy is running in clown shoes.

Clown shoes are being sold in sporting good stores (regular readers know I don’t shop much and my news is old). As I walked through the athletic wear section, my eyes were blinded by the day-glow fruity colors, orange, banana and lime. You could work on a road construction crew wearing those colors.

I guess to go along with road construction colors they now sell shoes in bright yellow, red, green and orange. A few were over $100 and one pair had all these glowing colors mixed together like this one I found on the Runner’s World.

she drives me crazy - 
This has such a different meaning when your status goes from dating to being married. Actually, I don’t always feel much status being married. 

Scrambled Eggs/Oh, my baby how I love your legs - 

Don’t know why I wrote that? You didn’t read last Sunday’s post.

Don't forget to check out my slideshow at the bottom of the page.

 
(proofreading provided by C. F. Eyecare)

a fragment floozy

Every Friday in the blogland woods of Wisconsin, Mrs. 4444 provides a place to spread our tasty brain crumbs (fragments) so that others may follow.

ain’t no floozy because she flosses frequently

I completed my scheduled teeth cleaning (if I start lose them does the cleaning get cheaper?) with a passing grade. "How often do you floss?" Being in a dentist chair and coming from a lovely dental assistant I’ll accept that very direct question. My honest answer (not often) just gets a me a series of reasons why being on the low floss path of life is dangerous. Two good things: 

1. I had the same good humored assistant last time.  
2. I paid attention and my memory playback worked.

I was able to answer with her next reason before she provided it. All good reasons but we agreed that guys can just be stubborn. I do enjoy her humor. My next cleaning was pushed into 2013 and she remarked, “if we are still around”. We then joked about the 2012 end-of-the-world prediction. A few laughs and clean teeth - what more could an old guy expect?

Blogging Sabbatical or who has time to blog with twitter, FB and G+. 

Could be a seasonal thing, a blogging flu, or a blog allergies. It just seems there has been a slow down around here. Even fewer clowns than normal lately. Do you hit the publish button and think “that post should get a response”? I felt that way about my previous post.

easy to chill in the winter

Damn I just wrote a check for too much so we could chill a little in our house this summer. The old air conditioner’s condition was not very airy. I often wish I could keep a little heat from the summer for the winter and a some winter coldness for the summer. That would be a nice balance don’t you think? Just doesn't work that way. I might post about my failed attempt of a fix but for now I’ll just share a picture of the unit’s wiring I captured so that I could remember how the wires went back together. (I should photoshop in a ticking clock for more drama)

Put a little manic mustard on my hot dog please

I was dragged by my wife into a Costco the other day. Alright, she really can’t drag me anywhere since that would require a heavy equipment operator’s license. She enticed me with the idea of enjoying a Costco hot dog. Have any of you tried a Costco hot dog? It was a steamed hot dog whose appeal is price. 

I’m not giving up my favorite hot dog stand for a warehouse hot dog. The Costco experience exemplifies the American consumerism. We want bigger packages of stuff for less. We love to join any type of club. I really thought I would see more big SUVs there since the over-sized packages need a truck to haul home. 

Oh almost forgot - I added a slideshow treat for all bottom of the page scrollers. Scroll down for a look. (proofreading provided by C. F. Eyecare)

snack seduction

(warning - food post - I’m not responsible for crumbs or calories) 

I’m a minimalist shopper. Get in and out quick. My wife (honorary advance degrees in stopping) stops at Costco occasionally and recently she bought some snacks. Typically no big deal. 

Not this time. I’m convinced this snack is from the devil. 

crunky 

salty 

slightly sweet

The large jar of peanut butter filled pretzel nuggets must of come from the devil. The bite-size nugget lightly coated in salt seduced me into grabbing a handful. But stopping at one handful was beyond my control. 

My wife suggested a version dipped in chocolate would be even more desirable. I told her that chocolate dipped ones would require selling your waistline to the devil.

another circus 

mystery discount

(I first posted this puzzle in 2009.  You all have gotten better at math since then right?)

So these three guys go have lunch together and order the same item.  Everybody puts in $10.00 and gives it to the waiter.  He goes back to the cash register with the $30.00 and the manager tells him, "Oh, there is a special today their bill will only be $25 so give them $5.00 back.

Now the waiter is thinking $5.00 split three ways will be a problem so he pockets $2 and gives each customer $1.00.

So to summarize:

Each of the customers (3) paid $9.00 = subtotal $27.00

The waiter has $2.00 in his pocket

grand total $27 + $2 = $29

Where did the missing dollar go?

I think Bernie Madoff got it.

I wonder if Bernie used this type of accounting on those statements he gave out to his clients sucker victims.

My dad loved to tell this puzzle.  I think he really liked my reaction because in high school I really enjoyed math and started taking courses he never had.  He enjoyed the frustration the puzzle gave me.  He also enjoyed beating me in cribbage and counting the points faster than I could.

One problem with this puzzle today is finding a $10.00 lunch at a restaurant with a waiter.  That's harder than finding the missing dollar.  So here's an updated version with even more money missing:

3 guys stop in a coffee shop and order the same drink.  As in the other version, they each give the waiter $10.  As the waiter enters the items, he discovers the menu didn't show the new discounted prices and the total comes out to $23.00.  Like in the other story, he doesn't want the confusion of dividing the change and decides to take a little.  He pockets $1.00 and gives each customer $2.00.

Let's summarize:

3 guys paid $8 each = subtotal $24.00

waiter has $1 in his pocket

grand total $24 + $1 = $25

Now we are missing $5.00 and who's on first.

Maybe I could get an accounting job.  Oh have you done your taxes yet?

(if you are really wanting to know I'll put an answer in the comments later - so check back) 

what do I know

BHLDN - do you know how to pronounce this? 

I picture seeing this on a vanity license plate but actually I found this during my antiquated habit of reading the newspaper.  This new store's name is pronounced “beholden” 

The retail company Urban Outfitters just open their second BHLDN store in Chicago and the business section of the paper had an article on it. I’ll admit the name of the story attracted my interest. I struggle to comprehend the thinking behind the dumb name. It could be that I just don’t text enough so this abbreviated language is too foreign to me. 

Since lack of knowledge regarding the subject matter seldom prevents my critical ramblings, I will continue. 

I can’t hold a candle to their expert product naming:

Trained Vine Candleholder ?? why not call it numbered candleholders

Sure I’m no target customer and I’m still trying to remember their store name, but that didn’t halt my online research. Here’s a bit from the BHLDN web site profile page: 

“There are no checkboxes. No fill-in-the-blanks. On the contrary, we think a moment should be as layered and dimensional as the woman standing within it.” 

Wow aren’t you a special layered dimensional customer. Now a typo on that last sentence would be fun. 

“Demented vs. dimensional” 

However their corporate owners Urban Outfitters at least are more honest in their company description:

“Our goal is to offer a product assortment and an environment so compelling and distinctive that the customer feels an empathetic connection to the brand and is persuaded to buy.” 

The brand name BHLDN just doesn’t connect with me. Your thoughts? 

And now totally unrelated to this. Would you enjoy some background music? All background music should have great whistling like this song.

(proofreading provided by C. F. Eyecare)

a blog deal

75 % OFF 

With the constant Black Friday shopping frenzy noise it's hard to get some attention.  This is why I'm offering 75% off.  

YES 75% OFF

Oh, you want to know off of what?

I thought it didn't matter because it was 75% off.  With that type of deal who cares what it is.

Ok, well that's the problem I don't have anything in mind to sell.  Could I sell you a few great words?

Starting Dec. 1, I'll be trying my best to post twelve days in a row about the twelve days of Christmas.  Anyone who comments on all twelve posts will be ah, hmm, special.

If I don't follow you already and you manage to comment on all 12 posts then I'll be sure to follow you.

Hey I can give you A-Few-Clowns-Short points.  No one has figured out any use for them but potentially they could be more valuable than a lock of Justin Bieber's hair. 

till the fragments come home

Wisconsin is the dairy state.

It is also the state from which Friday Fragments originated.  Now I don't really know if Mrs. 4444 parties until all the fragments come home but she does collect and give them a home.  So wander on over to her place and bring your fragments.

 

My wife picked up a couple of cows (toys - neither of us could pick up a cow) at Chick-fil-a the other day. They were kinda friendly so I had them do a photoshoot (oh you can click on picture to enlarge them). Remember that cow theme fashion thing going on years ago? What happened to all the cow themed kitchen stuff?

The creepy King has been dethroned. Burger King announced it’s dropping their King mascot. They are now planning to show good food items in their ads. Gee do they sell food or royalty costumes? I’m going to miss their King. I found his creepiness funny.  But cows are not creepy.

“I feel like Charlie Sheen – 

stupid and a winner at the same time.” 

That’s the comment I wrote to Bearman after I found that I won having my caricature drawn in his giveaway. I like it. What do you think?

park your man - IKEA man land 

I’m not real sure about IKEA marketing. With pride I’ll tell you I have never stepped foot inside an IKEA (I did meet someone in their parking lot once). 

What message is your wife sending you when she wants to park you in the IKEA man land? Doesn’t she trust enough to allow you to just hang out at Home Depot or Bass Pro shop? Maybe Bass Pro shop should fight back with their own woman land. Never mind, that would attract males. We are all forgetful at times and shopping offers many distractions so this “manly daycare” might result in a few guys feeling left unwanted.

Our Comcast (oh yeah Xfinity - I almost forgot their hip name) service dropped this week. Again! I reminded the customer rep that I had just called about two weeks ago for the same reason. She looked up my record and confirmed that I did. Oh how I wish I could just see my complete record of complaints with them. 

Besides the hassle of calling in, at least this time the response was more cooperative. I told her that and said compared to last time she was much more helpful. When she checked my last call she told me she would credit our account for that one too. Honestly, I don’t want the credits. I want better reliable service.

Blogging - A split personality benefits a blogger by providing a better variety of post ideas.

codename tow truck

I need agents. Publicity agents sure but they typically charge money. No, I’m looking for some undercover agents.

Actually, a better description might be underfoot, in-shoe, or happy-feet agents.

I’m trying to crack the pedicure conspiracy. I don’t want to actually get one because that would just be too weird for me. Wow I still vividly recall the trauma of having someone shampoo my hair at a salon once. I can wash my own hair - please.

Did I miss the memo?

Nobody sends memos - Ok, did I miss the text?

What? Everyone has happy feet that just need to be photographed.

I don’t buy it!   (I hate shopping so I don’t buy much of anything but I already posted about that.  In that hate shopping post I described some shampoo I had to buy.  Would you believe a reader commented that they use the same shampoo for their horses?  Oh I love comments.)

There is some devious plot behind all these toes showing up on blogs and Facebook. Reminds me of the marketing campaign devious conspiracy of the Marlboro man.

How about that silly rabbit telling you Trix are for kids?

That was no silly rabbit. An evil hare that almost fooled me into thinking rabbits were stealing my food. Hurry up eat the Trix before that rabbit gets here. After Trix it was a short time before I wanted to grow my hair long, join a rock-n-roll band and make a break for the border.

Nehru jacket on and headed for the next 007 mission.

I need to snap out of these memories of it. Oh the wasted hours and money chasing the fantasy of a Bond-girl waiting in a hot Aston-Martin.

People I see the same signs again. Oh sure, just some colored toes. Then it’s my painted toes next to your toes. Cute colors. Hey you have sparkles on yours?

They are stringing you along. Guiding your feet ever so gently and slowly to some new product or service. You will soon believe it to be a must-have, to-die-for thing.

Who knows (except the evil masterminds) what it will be. A type of nanotechnology that tingles your toes. Maybe your toes will glow in the dark and become the latest version of a mood ring.

At first I thought I would post examples from the many blogs I have noticed toe pictures. But no, there’s problems with that. We are talking innocent victims here so I don’t want to point them out. Also, I would not want anyone to get the notion that I enjoy toes or feet. I don’t. In fact I think toes (ok baby toes are cute) are one of the uglier parts of our bodies. Right there with elbows. The world doesn’t need more toe pictures. Stop taking them.

Instead I’ll just ask you, if you feel strong enough, to open up about your toe pictures. Maybe you have a friend that needs an intervention to halt their pedicure addiction. Maybe you just have some extra nail polish to unload. Let it out.

As I said at the start - codename tow truck (yes I know toe vs. tow - it’s a codename that needs to subtle) - who wants to be an agent?

*+*;)  urgent updated report  ;)*+*

Agent 002 (notice that we still have room for many more agents) just sent this in.

OMG - Interesting - maybe they are jumping from toes to fingers. Oh that would be a sly move even for a trix-eating-rabbit.