Sunday, July 17, 2011

codename tow truck

I need agents. Publicity agents sure but they typically charge money. No, I’m looking for some undercover agents.

Actually, a better description might be underfoot, in-shoe, or happy-feet agents.

I’m trying to crack the pedicure conspiracy. I don’t want to actually get one because that would just be too weird for me. Wow I still vividly recall the trauma of having someone shampoo my hair at a salon once. I can wash my own hair - please.

Did I miss the memo?

Nobody sends memos - Ok, did I miss the text?

What? Everyone has happy feet that just need to be photographed.

I don’t buy it!   (I hate shopping so I don’t buy much of anything but I already posted about that.  In that hate shopping post I described some shampoo I had to buy.  Would you believe a reader commented that they use the same shampoo for their horses?  Oh I love comments.)

There is some devious plot behind all these toes showing up on blogs and Facebook. Reminds me of the marketing campaign devious conspiracy of the Marlboro man.

How about that silly rabbit telling you Trix are for kids?

That was no silly rabbit. An evil hare that almost fooled me into thinking rabbits were stealing my food. Hurry up eat the Trix before that rabbit gets here. After Trix it was a short time before I wanted to grow my hair long, join a rock-n-roll band and make a break for the border.

Nehru jacket on and headed for the next 007 mission.

I need to snap out of these memories of it. Oh the wasted hours and money chasing the fantasy of a Bond-girl waiting in a hot Aston-Martin.

People I see the same signs again. Oh sure, just some colored toes. Then it’s my painted toes next to your toes. Cute colors. Hey you have sparkles on yours?

They are stringing you along. Guiding your feet ever so gently and slowly to some new product or service. You will soon believe it to be a must-have, to-die-for thing.

Who knows (except the evil masterminds) what it will be. A type of nanotechnology that tingles your toes. Maybe your toes will glow in the dark and become the latest version of a mood ring.

At first I thought I would post examples from the many blogs I have noticed toe pictures. But no, there’s problems with that. We are talking innocent victims here so I don’t want to point them out. Also, I would not want anyone to get the notion that I enjoy toes or feet. I don’t. In fact I think toes (ok baby toes are cute) are one of the uglier parts of our bodies. Right there with elbows. The world doesn’t need more toe pictures. Stop taking them.

Instead I’ll just ask you, if you feel strong enough, to open up about your toe pictures. Maybe you have a friend that needs an intervention to halt their pedicure addiction. Maybe you just have some extra nail polish to unload. Let it out.

As I said at the start - codename tow truck (yes I know toe vs. tow - it’s a codename that needs to subtle) - who wants to be an agent?

*+*;)  urgent updated report  ;)*+*

Agent 002 (notice that we still have room for many more agents) just sent this in.

OMG - Interesting - maybe they are jumping from toes to fingers. Oh that would be a sly move even for a trix-eating-rabbit.


Kristina P. said...

My husband is a pedicure convert. You would love them!

lisleman said...

really - do they use clear polish?  If not what color does he get?  We have some great clippers and files - works fine for me.  thanks - oh and thank him too maybe he is on to something.

Shrinky said...

Oopsie, did my latest post add to your trauma..??  Sorry (blush).  If it's any consolation, hubby's toes are far too hideous for public view - his toenails are permanently black and often fall off (ugh) due to this daft addiction of his to running marathons.

A Daft Scots Lass said...

I think the comment about the horse shampoo must've been me!!

Sexdrugsandbaconsandwiches said...

Generally toes are the most disgusting things and should always be hidden...  Yep, I just said that!

Bearmancartoons said...

 I have gone with my wife a couple times.  No polish but they do rub your feet
and calves so that is nice.

Thisstopwilloughby said...

My profile picture on Blogger and Facebook is often a picture of my feet, but they are always, always, always in shoes or boots.  I'm not a fan of looking at bare feet, my own or anyone else's!

lisleman said...

I just checked and the name left was different but maybe you commented under an alias.  So I'm wondering if you own horses now.  Next time I shampoo I'll be thinking stallion.

lisleman said...

Good to find some agreement out there.  thanks

lisleman said...

I bet you have a good shoe collection.  Really one of the features of these sites is to express your personal thoughts and likes.  If it was an unusual shoe or place I might post a picture like that.  As you said just bare feet are not too great to look at.

lisleman said...

No trauma - that floating picture made sense.  It was not just toes.  I've heard but had forgotten that some marathon runners do lose their toe nails.  So your post - fine.  Your comment - traumatic

lisleman said...

I'm surprised.  If it was just a massage - yeah ok that feels good.  Certainly  pedicurist is an occupation I  would never consider.  They must see lots of ugly feet.  The possibility of getting kicked or toe jam - awful.

Jene said...

I don't like feet, especially not naked feet. However, I did once post a picture of my pedicure - but in my defense, I was 41 weeks pregnant and it was the middle of summer, so I blame pregnancy brain for deciding it was a good idea to post about it. It was the best pedicure I've ever had.

I sleep in white cotton socks every night. I can't stand the idea of my feet touching the sheets and blankets, or, worse, bumping into my husband's feet.

lisleman said...

Sure I think pedicures are typically a waste of money but for special occasions and pregnant women they make sense.
Now that last idiosyncrasy of yours is sorta strange.

Charlie Callahan said...

I'm willing to volunteer as an undercover agent. Here are my qualifications:

1. I spend much of my time under the covers.
2. The covers hide my own ugly feet.
3. Likewise, I don't have to look at other peoples' ugly feet and toes.

lisleman said...

Ok you're in - that was easy - 003 is available.  Who are the sources of the pedicure conspiracy?  You can certainly remember at time when a pedicure was a fairly rare thing.  Do you think they are just starting with the toes and will be going after other body parts next?  Like the body snatchers.
Feel to free to report back when you get the chance.

Charlie Callahan said...

OK, Chief. I'll contact you by way of the cone of silence when I find something out.

Signed, Agent 0003.

Barbara said...

I can't convince my husband to get a pedicure, although I know of many male friends (husbands of friends) who have gone and gotten hooked. Actually, I think my dad even got one last year! Maybe we are all getting brainwashed - but personally, I think it's the foot massage. aahhhh.... (Love that last image!!) 

lisleman said...

Send him my way, I can help him defend his position.  Don't you like his toes?  Why not just get massages like the full body type together.  And then I've heard that some couples take massage lessons together.  Massage - fine I get that.  Pedicure - special occasions or maybe for pregnant ladies.  They are brainwashing us to think everyday is a special occasion.

TechnoBabe . said...

Pretty toes are not bad for your lungs though, look what happened to the Marlboro Man. I have tried to talk my hubby into getting a spa pedicure with me but he is not interested. Darn.

Hospitable Scots Bachelor said...

Boy, I thought my life was fraught!

lisleman said...

You are right compared to smoking this is not bad.  But it still can impact your bank account.  Interesting that a number of you report that you would like your husbands to also have one.  Next it will be the hair on our feet that needs to be removed.
thanks for sharing.

secret agent woman said...

That's an awful lot of angst over toes.  I've never had a pedicure, but I'm a barefoot kind of person, and don't have an issue with seeing others' feet.  In fact, I like it that massage guy is always barefoot.

lisleman said...

oh no problem with barefoot and barefoot people (in certain places - not restaurants).  I remember that barefoot massage guy story of yours.
I just don't care for the pictures of toes being posted all over.
thanks - oh special thanks for going back and reading older posts - you are very good about that.

Rebecca said...

I really love the photo of the 'fingers'?, kissing.  So so sweet.
Also, I don't do salon mani/pedis, I took my daughter to Sephora and pained the fingernails on her left hand one color, the nails on her right hand another color guessed it, her toenails on her left/right feet, different colors too.  So so cute.  But she's six.

lisleman said...

You and her did the painting?  I think I've heard of that brand but I'm sure I've never step into one of their shops (paint shops?).  The world can always use a little more color on it's fingers and toes.  I wonder if people are being tricked into pedicure expenses.  Doing it yourself makes sense. 
She is six.  Maybe you should start a pedicure expense account.  thanks for sharing  

From Tracie said...

I laughed out loud when I read your line about toes as mood rings, because my daughter actually has some "mood" nail polish that changes colors. It is random, and amazing, and kind of scary. 

Emily Cullen said...

I have not heard nor seen these toe pictures, they do look quite awful!

But I will say I love my occasional pedicures.  Due to my illnesses, they are therapeutic to me, can I deduct them off of my insurance?

I don't usually plug, but I wrote this blog about two years ago:

In Defense of a Poor Woman's Pedicure:

lisleman said...

Good investigative reporting agent T.  Any idea of how the nail polish changes colors?  By movement or heat?
thanks  -  Oh might be a good idea to teach her about spending habits and being reasonable about what we really think we need.  I still need to remind myself.  No right answer but many wrong ones that add up.

lisleman said...

You are good to point out exceptions.  Other comments here mention pregnant women as another good reason to get a pedicure.   I'll go take a look.  thanks.

From Tracie said...

It changes by temperature. Starts out a light pink, and when it gets cold it turns very dark pink. I think it cost $1.50 at Claires about a year ago, so I'm not sure if they still sell it, but at the time they also had a green and a blue and a purple that all changed colors.

The lesson of knowing what you need and what you want is a good thing to learn as early as possible. There are times when I'm still working on that in my own life, too. 

Mrs4444 said...

Hm...I thought my ears were I know why.

This reminds me of the time in college when a guy with an apparent foot-fetish began frequenting the 4th floor of the library at which I worked. I submitted to having my clog-wearing foot traced, but that was as far as I let him go. He was soon kicked out of the library.

lisleman said...

There are certainly strange people out there. I don't care for toes or feet pictures. Some people have better looking feet than others but I think feet are pretty ugly in general. Of course I wrote this as a joke but I'm still confused why people take pictures of their own toes and post them on the internet. Most of us enjoy attention so I understand that part. I think there are so many other types of pictures to share. Being at some location, with a friend, with your pet, But your toes?? It's like taking pictures of my teeth. Yeah I know back in college you ran into a tooth fetish guy called the tooth fairy.

Mrs4444 said...

haha Have you talked to your therapist about this?

lisleman said...

therapist?? who needs that - I have a blog

Featured Post

easy cheat post