get out of our lives Donny John

Disclaimer: Now I'm a disclaimer, not a trace of truth in my mind. Perhaps my twisted words have more truth.

I know you're hopin' to find
Someone who's gonna give you piece of mind
When times go bad
When times go rough
Won't you lay me down in tall grass
And let me do my stuff

I'm just second hand news
I'm just second hand news

Second hand news is better than fake news. Get ready, I’m going to bounce from Fleetwood Mac to Carly Simon to Simon and Garfunkel. I found a great parody of a classic song used to satirize Donny John (oh I decided to start using “Donny John” for our can-you-believe-it president - Thank you Tina Fey). 

don't know if I want to try this beer

Before I get to this brilliant piece of satirical work I would like remind you (and myself) that back in the fall of 2015 I based a parody on “You’re So Vain”. Back then I just thought Donny John’s campaign was a PR stunt. Here’s a link to that old post.

Now that (can you believe it?) he hangs out at the White House when he isn’t at one of his resorts I’ve updated a few lines my parody.

You walked into the party
Like you were walking onto a yacht
Your HAIR strategically dipped below one eye
Your scowl was taut
You had one eye in the mirror
As you watched yourself cavort
And ALT RIGHT dreamed that they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner, and

You're so vain
You probably think this NATION is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this NATION is about you
Don't you? Don't you? 

starting the world glowing

But my parodies don’t fly too well without a band and singer. This parody I found on Fakebook has it all - great words, and good singing voices. Check it out:

no cup of joe

Thursday Aug 17, 2017 - coffee cup crisis 
Apparently sometime during the daylight hours yesterday my favorite coffee cup was set down somewhere unusual in this house. I’m frustrated in my inability to locate this excellent coffee cup. After looking in a few obvious places like next to this computer I took a break from the search and drank some coffee with a backup cup.

I feel more upset than if this coffee cup had been dropped and broken. That would have be upsetting but at least I would have known what happened to it. Not knowing if it is still intact or broken somewhere increases the stress.

last seen 8/16/17 answers to "smell the coffee"

Our house is smaller than most so after the few rooms I would expect to see it sitting on table/shelf/box/something. Also, bothering me is how a missing coffee cup could upset me. Just adds yet another dimension to the dilemma. How could I misplace a useful clearly visible object like this? I’m one of few in the family that even drinks coffee. Hopefully writing about it will help me to move on.

That coffee cup has warmed my hands on countless mornings. The thick sides and well rounded rim keeps the coffee warm and flowing easily.

What will I misplace next?

I regularly derail my train of thought. I’ve gotten use to that. However I'm typically OCD about putting things back in the same place.

Oh, on a brighter note - did you see these cool eclipse stamps? My nice brother-in-law alerted me to this post office offering. I ran out to the post office to pick-up a sheet. These forever stamps ($0.49 ea) are sensitive to heat. The black moon clears to reveal the moon’s face after you hold your thumb on them. Also, so far I have not misplaced them. (I know I didn't bring my coffee cup to the post office)

sun moon stamps

BREAKING NEWS - Lisleman’s treasured coffee cup has been found. The cup is in fine condition. After a day long search by as many as 3 adults, the cup was discovered abandoned inside the microwave.

I was just about to publish this when she-who-found-it announced the news. I can’t believe I didn’t reheat leftovers today and found it myself. I'm feeling dumb now.

In celebration here’s a song about losing it by Lucinda Williams.

I think I lost it
Let me know if you come across it
Let me know if I let it fall along a back road somewhere.

my favorite mistake

Will this be yet another mistake? I don’t want this blog to get political. So I’ve been reluctant to share this idea of mine here. But on the other hand (that hand that doesn’t do much anyway) why not. The readership is down (close to being sunk). So I’m going to expand on the idea of making a mistake. However, I will not get drawn into a debate about the current political candidates.

“The perfect ending to the bad day”. That confusing phrase from Sheryl Crow’s “My Favorite Mistake” song can make sense if you let ‘perfect’ and ‘bad’ join together to describe a real terrible day. Phrases like this is why I enjoy listening to the lyrics.

Our never ending election cycles have given us a few perfect mistakes to consider.

 

Here’s my perfect idea for a bad post.

Do a parody of the song “You’re So Vain” using Donald Trump and his campaign. I always thought the Donald was very vain. I believe even his hair is vain. The Donald could become the perfect political mistake.

Now if you please, add your suggested lyric ideas in the comments. Of course, if you don’t find this at all funny then have a great perfect day and come back for the next post which will not be political at all. Actually, given that it’s Donald Trump I don’t consider this post very political since I have a difficult time equating him to a serious political leader.

Here’s my hope for a campaign hit: (if you can sing along and carry a tune please do a recording and post it on youtube, please just mention this post )

You walked into the party
Like you were walking onto a yacht
Your HAIR strategically dipped below one eye
Your scowl was taut
You had one eye in the mirror
As you watched yourself cavort
And all LAWYERS dreamed that they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner, and

You're so vain
You probably think this RACE is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this RACE is about you
Don't you? Don't you?

Reality show several years ago
when you fleeced the naive
Well, you said you have such pretty hair
And your shouted words make me heave
Do you care who makes the things you love
And can you handle a hot Mexican tamale
They had some dreams, stopped by walls on the border
walls on the border and

You're so rich
You probably think this RACE is about you
You're so rich
I'll bet you think this RACE is about you
Don't you? Don't you?

They had some dreams, stopped by walls on the border
walls on the border and

You're so vain
You probably think this RACE is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this RACE is about you
Don't you? Don't you?

Well, I hear you went up to Saratoga
And your HAIR naturally won
Then you spew words like you’re a nova
you curse everyone under the sun

Well, you're where you golf all the time
And when you're not, you're planning
Some lawsuits, Oh your third wife is no friend
Wife is no friend, and

You're so vain
You probably think this RACE is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this RACE is about you
Don't you? Don't you?

when the plumbing plans your day

“... when the men on the chessboard get up and tell you where to go …”

Well it wasn’t men on a chessboard telling what to do this morning. It was a sink drain telling me it was broken. Actually my wife did the talking. Plumbing was not scheduled in any of today's plans. Plumbing can be rude and pushy like that though.

Nothing like a broken do-hickey on your drain pipe to mess with your day. The socket holding the pivot lever which makes the stopper move up and down broke off. The remaining drain pipe was left with a hole in it’s side. It’s easier to just say the do-hickey, doodad or thingamabob broke on the pipe.

I searched around for a picture/diagram of the setup. I discovered a new name in the process, clevis strap. Next time I’m at a hardware store I should inquire about their selection of clevis straps.


At least part of my pipes are clean now.

Remember this other Jefferson Airplane song? 

When the drain is found
to be clogged
and all the joy within you dies
don’t you want somebody to fix-it
don’t you need somebody to fix-it
wouldn’t you love somebody to fix-it
you better find somebody to fix-it

I’m afraid to tell

First off I’ve had better days. The old air conditioner refuses to cool much. It’s hard to chill with our heatwave. Oh, any toasty well baked readers from the southern desert type places - we don’t do dry heat in Chicagoland just the sticky heavy heat. 

I don’t post much about the weather but I have. I don’t post much about serious topics but I have. Selecting a posting topic is the topic of the day. Today’s browsing travels found me reading a few posts following the “theme” (or meme) of “Things I'm Afraid to Tell”.

Source: elcuriosocaseron.blogspot.com via lisleman on Pinterest

True confessions blogger style 

My light hearted you-are-not-serious attitude would have me selecting the above picture for these posts. But the blogger EZ (today was my first blog visit there) offered up a more appropriate button (below) for this challenge. EZ wrote a great post about the challenge and revealed some personal feelings.

These posts are very serious. More serious than I typically post. Reading a post like this the first time on an unfamiliar blog is ----- not sure what word to use but it's a little like being seated next to that lady on the plane that starts telling you her life drama story and you just wanted to look out the window. (oh those airplane seat neighbors are not always a Chatty Cathy. I’ve had a few Chatty Charlies. Truth be told - I can get a little talkative at times too.)
 
Please don’t attack me as being a clueless insensitive jerk (those issues have popped up in my past). No I understand we all blog for different reasons. I’m a big believer in diversity. I would not want a world where we all thought the same way. Bloggers revealing their internal feelings and issues benefit others by offering their group support.
 
I like what EZ wrote -

“...made a conscious choice to focus on light-hearted subjects and beauty as a daily reminder to myself to always seek that side of life...”

(Ok I don’t cover “beauty” too much but I don’t wear make-up either and I think she might)

But lighten-up because I do believe it is the better side of the street.
 
Ok I’ll remind you of one thing I’ve mentioned somewhere on a past post. I just don’t care for lists. This “Things” idea is a list and that’s not appealing to me. Of course the bigger issue is why the big deal about a list. I don’t know. I could make a few guesses about fear of failure and procrastination but I don’t buy into blogging as alternative psychotherapy.
 
In the spirit of this challenge, I’ll reveal one other issue. I struggle in my attempt to find the correct approach to work/life in what I consider the beginning of another phase for me. I can rationalize the hell out of most positions/conditions I find myself in, but in the end that doesn’t provide any truth.  Honestly the sleeping position is very comfortable but I don’t know of a sleeping position that provides any income.
 
So check out the link to EZ’s post which provides plenty about this challenge if you had not heard of it yet.

now why did i do that

Source: plus.google.com via lisleman on Pinterest

I wonder if it would help if printed off a label like that to wear on those days.  A general warning for the unsuspecting public and family members.

It's a matter of control or lack of.  Losing it is a mistake except perhaps in the movies.







another circus 

dumb and dumber go boating

Just a quick post about a funny/stupid/strange youtube clip I stumbled on.

I have never been to this beach.  In fact, I had to replay the video to pickup where this fun in the sun took place.

It takes place in Grand Bend Canada (being just over the border don't assume dumb and dumber are Canadian but it does seem that they may have grown up in the back woods wilderness) which is on Lake Huron.  Apparently they have never heard of a boat ramp or why people use them.

I thought oh maybe there are no boat ramps nearby.  Well just a few minutes (maybe they don't know about internet searching) of searching and I found a few marinas with boat ramps.  Clicking around I even found a web cam of one of the boat ramps (you'll never see these idiots on that web cam).

This clip is long.  About 9-10 minutes.  But the action starts right away and plot thickens quickly.  I suggest you stick around for the tractors to show up.  They are really the stars of the show.

Also if you start to go numb in the brain while watching, fast forward to the end part which has a good view of the first SUV that started the whole thing.

Confused?  Just watch the clip.

another circus 

father's day remembrance

(the clown is taking off his virtual funny nose for this post - if you are a newcomer this is not my typical post)

I'm having a difficult time deciding how to write a feeling.

Yesterday, I was going through old stuff which included pictures. By the time I went to bed an emotion inside me was telling to write about my dad. I didn't even sleep very well because you see this subject stirs a mixture of emotions. At one point I came very close to just writing it at 3 in the morning but I'm glad thought it over more.

I miss him.

A feeling that still surprises me because there was a period in my life which I remember well that I didn't think I would ever miss him. I was wrong.

I'm not going to go into the background because for one reason it would be the background revealed from my eyes. I just wish he could have been more open about his feelings and shared the background of his life before I showed up. I wanted to understand him better.  He left the world and I still look for some answers from him.

Please don't get the impression that he didn't do great and wonderful things for us. He did and I am grateful for the many fun and exciting times he shared with me and the family.

This is a favorite picture of mine since I found it a pile of old slides. What I see in this picture triggers a flood of memories. That pencil stuck in the side of his hat, the backyard location, that happy look on my face, all give me some time travel.

Thanks Dad!

(thanks Mom for taking this great shot)

Also, Eric Clapton's  "My Father's Eyes" expresses this so well that it brings me tears.  Take a listen:

(oh, I even thought of turning off the comments on this post because I certainly am not looking for any sympathy. But this is a blog and sharing comments enriches it so comments are welcomed.)

step ladder to a mistake

My definition of a mistake
A mistake can vary from the tragic type that breaks a bone, removes a limb to one that just breaks wind (some in my family consider that tragic too).

A mistake requires some human decision involvement For example, like the tree falling in the forest question (oh if you are married - it's the husband's mistake) there needs to be some human interaction. I don't think nature makes mistakes. However nature offers us the opportunity to make mistakes. Ever jump into a lake expecting it to be deeper and less filled with rocks?

I have.

Serious mistakes might land you here:





Hopefully, I didn't make the mistake of too much explanation and you're still reading so I can tell you my story of a funny mistake.

My goal that day - replace my garage door opener (motor unit part) single handed.

The tricky part of the assembly was getting the chain on the pole and connecting the gear in the motor unit. After some attempts, I found a brilliant solution, use a step ladder to hold the motor unit up with the other end of the pole attached to the wall. The top of the ladder was too high and the pole would easily slip off so I used a middle rung/step of the ladder to hold it.

It worked!!

Well kinda, my mistake was not checking sizes. The motor unit would not fit between the rungs of the ladder and I could not slide the ladder off the assembled opener.

Now the step ladder was part of my opener. I wish I had taken a picture. Maybe I would have been on the cover of DIY magazine. The fix was to remove one rung of the ladder (easier than taking the opener apart).

Here's a couple of pictures of an opener and a ladder. Picture the motor box part NOT attached to the ceiling BUT stuck between the rungs of the ladder.

Poor planning == mistake





Almost forgot to mention this post idea comes from the spin cycle.

======= update =====
a friend sent me this link to a brilliant garage door opener idea.
Check this out