Sunday, May 16, 2010

Two blondes walk into a building ...

wouldn't you think ONE of them would have seen it coming??

Dumb joke?  Jokes like other entertainment are enjoyed but some but not others.

One of the enjoyments of my past biz travel was sharing jokes.  There were some guys with great material and delivery.  One liners and short ones are a great way to get it going. 

This sales rep I met has a trophy wife.  I got to meet her once.  I guess it was second place.


Remembering the joke is key.  How often do you only remember part of it?  You start a joke and then stumble through the rest.  Repeating the jokes helped my memory of them.  Email really changed the joke telling.  It became hard to have a new one that others didn't know from their inbox.

During part of my career I fortunate enough to travel with this retired sailor who is a great guy.  We share some common interest and he tells some great stories and jokes.  For now I'll just call him J.  Maybe I can get him to visit the blog and read this.  

You know someone is good when their friends are asking them to tell others at the table some favorite story.

One night J is out late at the local bar near the base.  You know the term drunken sailor didn't just sail in from the blue - right?.  So there is some serious drinking going down.

J knows how to pace it and is in complete control.  But across the room is whole different scene.

There is a guy who can't stand up any longer.  J is thinking this guy is not going to make it home.  He goes over to offer some assistance.  (I told you J is a great guy)  J finds out the guy lives nearby and decides to give him a ride home.

J helps the poor soul out to his car.  The guy falls down in the parking lot while J is trying to get him into the car.

They make it to the guys house and J props him up on the porch and rings the bell.

J sees the wife coming and prepares to catch hell.  Surprisingly, she is very very thankful and carries her husband into the house. 

J is just stepping off the porch, thinking that went well, when she calls him back.

"Thanks again - but did you bring his crutches?"

That's one of my favorites of many that J told.


Charlie Callahan said...

That's a funny joke, L-man.

Unfortunately for everyone else, I can't tell a joke to save my life.

Remember Steve Landesberg from "Barney Miller"? He was one of the funniest stand-ups I ever saw because he was a master of accents—Scandanavian, Scottish, Asian—you name it.

KristinaP said...

Very funny! I am horrible at remembering jokes, so I don't tell them. There is nothing worse than screwing up a joke.

OneStonedCrow said...

Hehehe ... great post - yeah, I sometimes wish I was a better joke-teller but I usually fumble the punch-line ...

... as for blonde jokes ... well, I think blondes are treated unfairly - but that's probably because I used to be blonde before I turned grey ...

The Urban Cowboy said...

That's a good one, I'm not very good at telling jokes either, unless I've had a few. Then it seems my memory improves, but only in remembering jokes.

lisleman said...

I remember Barney Miller show but I guess I didn't know the actor/comedian.
IMHO - a great current comedian (I saw him live 2-3 years ago) is Brian Regan.

lisleman said...

yeah I know what you mean. I rehearse it in my head before telling it and still mess up sometimes. That's why the short ones are better.
Funny about you being blonde and the jokes. I (most I think) don't think of guys when I think of a dumb blonde joke.

oceangirl415 said...

My husband told me jokes and he could tell me many times and they would still be funny because I could not remember jokes. I certainly could not repeat them. But now I do wish I could remember them. At least one or two, but none come to mind.

lisleman, I had been meaning to ask if you know the (funny?) story behind paddle faster, I hear banjo music.

lisleman said...

I just did some looking around because I wasn't sure what you were talking about. There are t-shirts and bumper stickers with these saying on it. So assuming that't it. It refers to the movie "Deliverance" (1972). You can read up on the movie plot - it's easy to find.

unknownmami said...

Is that movie poster for real? Does that movie really exist?

lisleman said...

I guess it does. I have never seen it but it came up while searching for dumb blonde. Maybe it went straight to DVD?

TechnoBabe said...

I have always had trouble remembering the complete joke. I love hearing them but I am not good at the delivery.

secretagentwoman said...

I've screwed up the punchlines of more than a few jokes in my time. But somehow, that just makes it funnier to me.

Joanna Jenkins said...

If only I could remember all the great jokes I've heard over the years! They go in one ear and out the other.
This was a funny joke!

oceangirl415 said...

Hey, my WTC is up:)

lisleman said...

More evidence of that brain tunnel I've always suspected existed. I have the same problem with people's names.

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