Tuesday, January 18, 2011

what is in a name

Remember about 6 months ago I posted -
oh wait, wait, wait,
I don’t remember what the hell you posted 6 months ago why should you remember mine? Sorry. Might be that you were not a visitor of “A Few Clowns Short” back then. Maybe you won’t be after reading this but I hope you do come back.

The proud post I refer to was titled “fat ass donuts”. By the end of this I hope you understand why I mention it.

Did you know corporations spend millions on names and branding. I was shocked years ago when I heard details of the story behind United Airlines new paint scheme (mid 90’s timeframe) for their fleet. Honest, I heard they had secret meetings on a pier in San Francisco to see what the colors would look like in the fog. My point is c’mon the plane just needs to look clean, flyable and not be on fire. The ticket price, schedule and routes are the big deal.

What did Apple Computer spend to shorten the name to Apple Inc.? Starbucks recently dropped “coffee” from their logo. Man I would have loved being on that consulting gig. “Yes brand awareness buzz will be great if you drop that old sounding word coffee. Oh, here’s the invoice for that brilliant timely advice.”

Seriously any company out there with some extra cash needing some name ideas? I have plenty. Here’s a few I just whipped up:
  • Old Fart Muffler and Beauty Supply
  • Hair Today Gone Tomorrow Salon
  • Get Off Me Yoga Lessons
  • Don’t Look Now Insurance
  • Pay Me Later and Often Loans
  • No Chance Dating Service
  • Lulu Tight Squeeze Your Bottom Yoga Pants

Well the other day, (a clear day no fog) I spotted the following sign:

No surprise - the company was out-of-business. Really, who wants to slip into one of those tanning beds after some bare bottom just got out. Now this is an example of how my naming skills could of helped their bottom - line.

Oh if you checked out my “fat ass donuts” idea then you might agree this location could be my first store. Going from bare bottoms to fat ass - not much of a leap. Maybe I could get their old customer list.

(oh one more idea based on my last post - Fat Ass Donuts waiting area will be filled with pillows)


Kristina P. said...

Some names people come up with are hilarious. And yeah, the "new" Starbucks logo? Really?

Pearl said...

It's a beautiful thing.

So you're saying that "Bare Bottom" is now available? Hmm. Wonder if that would work better for my "women's yearly" franchise, currently entitled "Paps, Pedis, and Pub"...

I loved your comment, btw. :-) Bare Bottom Look N See. That's nice.

Green Monkey said...

HA!!! thanks for the BIG smile :) I was hoping I'd have a great name to add, but... at the moment I've got nothing. (i'll be back as soon as it hits me)

lisleman said...

thanks I thought you might like it. Given the mix of services I imagine getting the various licenses and approvals would be interesting in itself.

Oh for any comment readers wondering - please see Pearl's post

lisleman said...

It's even more outrageous when you learn that a large sum of money was spent getting the name.

lisleman said...

Please do - hopefully you won't be dizzy after being hit.

Bearmancartoons said...

Someone's wife must be spending a bunch on Lulu Lemon yogawear

lisleman said...

great catch - LOL - but honestly no. I watch CNBC and this is one of those hot stocks that I don't own but they talk about often. The male talking head, Mark H. once questioned why would yoga pants be so special his petite female co-host explained that yoga moves require a special fit. I guess.

oceangirl415 said...

Love the names! I think name is everything.

lisleman said...

thanks please suggest any you might have.

savannah said...

thanks for the laughs, been a bad day at black rock, sugar. xoxox

lisleman said...

I sure am glad to offer any type of relief. Hope things get better for you.
thanks for sharing - all the best.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Bare Bottom-- That is definitely not a good name-- for anything.

The Starbucks change is a little odd because I understand they are changing the graphics too. I get just using "Starbucks" but they could do that, lose "coffee" and still have the almost the exact same logo that you really can spot a mile away.

One of the few companies I can think of that did a good job of changing their name/log was Federal Express when they changed to FedEx.

As for the Fat Ass Donuts, well.... My all time favorite cheeseburger is from Fat Burger-- And it literally took me 6 years of living in LA before I could bring myself to pull into their parking lot. Now I should spend a little less time there if you know what I mean.

Cheers, jj

lisleman said...

thanks - fat burger is an alright name for me but there is a good beer called "Fat Tire" and I always forget and call it Flat Tire.

Barbara S. said...

Would you believe I work for a naming company?

lisleman said...

Interesting. Do you mean something like name research, an ad type agency, internet names or what exactly? I got involved with an ad type agency on the name of a service product. The brainstorming was fun. My role was to answer technical questions about the future service. I did get to offer input on the selection. I know the trademark searches are important. thanks for sharing.

Pat Fortunato said...

How about "Big Bottom Bread," a bakery in NYC? I guess that meant that the BREAD has a big bottom, but that's not the way I read it . . .

lisleman said...

I agree with you. I don't think of the bottoms on bread. Not as bad as bare bottom bread but almost. thanks

lisleman said...

Oh if that happens you know I'll blog about it. Are you interested in the top chef position? I could handle food tasting. thanks

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