Tuesday, July 06, 2010

fat ass donuts

(note/background - I'm fat. I never considered myself very fat and still don't most of the time. Of course there is that one moment when you glance in the mirror getting out of the shower. That mirror makes me look fat. So the following might be received as making fun of fat people. Well if so then I'm just making fun of myself.)


"Family Style" restaurants should not have menus. 

Is your family offered a menu at home? 

My only offers were eat this or be sent to my room. Oh and that was back when "your room" didn't have an entertainment center in it. From what I noticed, to threaten the equivalent today you would need to send them to a walk-in closet. And even then, daughters would be entertained by going through the shoes.

Back to the restaurant - Lisleman's Sitdown Eat This and Like It 
- Hours - when I feel like it.

It would be very inexpensive. No menu. Buffet style - get it before the next guy does.

You would first be seated in a living room with couches and lazy boys. But when you enter, Uncle John already has the best seat and controls the remote so you either watch or not. If you complain you must leave.

After enough victims customers arrive. Aunt Vicky yells from the other room, "Dinner's ready". No assigned seating. You just need to be lucky. I-was-sitting-there arguments will provide entertainment for all.

During dinner, school age children will be asked how school was and told to eat their vegetables. Twenty-somethings will be asked, "when are you going to get a real job."

Anyone still left after Grandpa gives a lengthy lecture about the difficulties of his youth will be rewarded with the finest of calorie filled desserts.

Every meal comes with fat ass donuts for dessert.

Fat Ass Donuts - You don't need to be an ass to love fat ass donuts.

Actually in the really world (not that Disney World is all that real) wife and I actually ate at a retro themed restaurant.



Disney World has a home kitchen themed restaurant in their Hollywood Studios park. It's called "50's Prime Time Cafe. You sit in small groups at a kitchen table. You think you just stepped into a 50's sitcom. I recommend you make reservations days ahead.

Please contact me if you are interested in franchising opportunities in my "Sitdown Eat This and Like It" chain.  (you don't deserve a break today - I do)

Or if you like, just let me know what you think of the idea - thanks.

28 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I would be your first customer.

Bearmancartoons said...

I can't believe the 50s Prime Time Cafe is still around at Disney. But when I pay the prices, I miss my days being able to eat at the employee cafeteria.

lisleman said...

so did you work there? I bet you dress-up as some Disney character like Winnie the Pooh bear.

lisleman said...

Hey you are the first to comment too. I would send you a coupon but seeing how this place is not a place yet the coupon would be worthless.
thanks

TechnoBabe said...

I'm there but there needs to be a second waiting room with no TV, so if you can have that I will wait in the library room waiting for Aunt Vicky's announcement.

oceangirl415 said...

That is a great name. I'll buy the franchise and compete with our local "Try To Eat" restaurant.

Avalon2040 said...

There is a place in Cathedral City, CA (Georgre's Bar & Grill) where you get harassed by the cook/owner, especially if you try to special order a hamburger. Read the reviews via the link below. They're only open for lunch 'cause that's the way the owner wants it ! His schedule !

http://national.citysearch.com/profile/504008/cathedral_city_ca/george_s_bar_grill.html

lisleman said...

Hey TC thanks for sharing the comment.
I checked out the link and found this interesting comment.
"... sign on the wall that says, "If you want it your way, go to Burger King.""

secretagentwoman said...

Nope - I have no need to re-live that sort of unpleasantness. It was a little different in my old household (and certainly never any donuts) but the eat it or like it thing didn't work for me then and still doesn't now.

In my own restaurant it would include the rule: "If you ask for ketchup or soy sauce before even tasting the food, you can march yourself out of the house and out of my life. Thank you." Trust me, I do abide by this rule.

lisleman said...

Ok, I don't expect everyone to see things my way. In fact when they do I'm often surprised. But we do differ on few points. It would not be ketchup which is a bad choice for favoring except fries. No it would be pepper or hot sauce. I don't need to taste it first because I know I like spicy and unless it was sold as extra spicy it will need more.

Jillsy said...

Or, it could be called "You're Not Going Anywhere Until that Plate is Empty"!

lisleman said...

thanks but that does seem to a long name. My wife tries to have left overs and prides herself in getting a "doggie" bag. I think it crazy not to eat the whole dinner. Maybe this "plate is empty" past is the difference.

Whyioughta2 said...

I would absolutely eat there.

Pearl

Lilly said...

I would go there if there were fat ass donuts for sure.

Mrs4444 said...

You've got to have someone bitching about the meal and throwing a plate now and then. Now THAT's entertainment!

lisleman said...

Ok, once a week the 4444 family will be eating with us. Helmets will be worn at all times.
Now we have rent-a-family.
Thanks for the idea.

lisleman said...

hey the donuts are still fresh and the comments would be if you left one.

lolalakely said...

Good god, you had me at "You don't need to be an ass to love fat ass donuts."

lisleman said...

thanks for checking this out. Maybe I should write to Krispy Kreme and see if they would buy my slogan. At least I could possibly get a donut from them.

tracismixedbag said...

I'd eat at Sitdown Eat This and Like It. 

Charlie Callahan said...

I love it, L-man!  I'd eat there every day, unless I smelled Brussels sprouts cooking. And I agree that helmets are mandatory—there's no telling what'll happen when eating family style.

Brilliant stuff.

lisleman said...

Hey Charlie thanks.  What exactly does "family style" mean anyway.  There are some families that have some strange habits.

Charlie Callahan said...

Family style is simply a buncha people sitting around a table eating whatever was cooked up. You say stuff like "Please pass the spuds," "Please pass the gravy," Please pass the rolls," until everyone is pleased out and just starts grabbing for the butter and salt and pepper.

No different, really, than what you're proposing.

Ann in the UP said...

Will the Father Figure sit at the head of the table with his arm protectively around the pork chops?  

oceangirl said...

i remember this post, menus can be a pain sometimes.

Jene said...

Interesting restaurant concept. Sure gives a whole new meaning to "home-cooked comfort food."

Will you have the servers ready to remind people that there are starving kids in china?

lisleman said...

I remember that line.  Today you would need to change it to "there are kids in China we owe money to."

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