Just because you are over the hill and rolling doesn’t mean you shouldn’t set some goals. As you roll, you might try leaning to one side or another to miss some of those boulders ahead. Also, take some time to enjoy the scenery.
My goal -- When I grow up, I would like to be an absent-minded professor. Now I never received an advanced degree so the professor part might be tricky. With my interest in physics maybe I could fake it.
So I have my image of your typical absent-minded professor.
Is there a double standard regarding aging? Maybe. But maybe it’s self imposed.
I just left the shower (don’t worry I have dried off and dressed so wipe out any stupid image in your mind) and back there was a pump bottle of “age defying daily renewal cleanser”. I don’t touch the stuff. It belongs to my wife. Nothing wrong with cleansing but age defying would be an impossible trick. I wonder if there is a recommended age limit on the label.
I love my gray hair and look forward to the day it’s completely white.
Consider these famous old men:
- Colonel Sanders
- Charles Darwin
- Mark Twain
- Santa Claus
- Albert Einstein
I’m not saying any these well respected gentlemen were absent-minded. I don’t know. My point is when I think of them, I don’t picture some young guy but see an old gentleman. (unlike that crazy fake Einstein pic)
Isn’t it interesting that their grand achievements came when they were young men (not sure about Santa)? Looking like one of these old guys should be a goal for all guys.
The look of age doesn’t concern me and in fact it might improve my looks. Hell maybe I could get a gig hosting a talk show.
Now having healthy limber joints is something to worry about. Nobody wants pain.
So is there a double standard or do women just create the problem themselves?
Oh, are you interested in a half full used bottle of age defying cream?
27 comments:
lisleman,
Much of my recent life has been spent as a not-so-crypto-Professor Irwin Corey. I don't quite have the hair for it.
Trulyfool
There is a double standard it is true. I just did a post on females and grey hair so there should be some interesting comments. I cannot explain it really except men age better than women usually. And the economy would go down the gurgler if we women stopped believing in the claims of makeup companies. We all live in hope I think. But health is the only thing that matters when all is said and done. And dont you think men contribute greatly to this double standard - one rule for them but a whole set of different expectations for their women? Great post.
Yes, well ... I don't know about anti-ageing lotions and potions but, when I grow up, I want to study for a degree in "Growing Old Gracefully" ... preferably by correspondence ... do you know of any institutions offering such a course?
Perhaps as the age defying cream is rubbed on the face and/or other parts, the hope of it helping makes it worth the cost and effort. Psychologically just using it is keeping her mentally young.
For me, I finally agreed to grow up a couple years ago so for now the only thing I want to as a grown up is who I am now. I worked hard to get here. So instead of wanting to be something else I am content to no longer have to work a job and happy with my little hippie life.
I use a cleanser on my face but it isn't age defying. Hey, I just want to get my face clean. There is too much pressure to be youthful looking and not enough pressure to be satisfied with what is. Don't get me started with the double standard thingy. Like you say in this post, you like your gray hair. You are satisfied with things about yourself. That is so cool. So many people are hard on themselves and not satisfied with things about themselves.
Funny, I literally just came from Lilly's blog, posting about coloring my gray hair (I do). I don't spend a ton of money on the age-defying lotions and potions. My one vanity seems to be getting rid of my gray hair.
I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. But one thing is for sure, I won't have to worry about white hair.
I just saw my first gray hair, about 4 months ago, and I subjected myself to a Mario Lopez marathon, I was so upset.
You have a great head of hair. I tell my husband the same thing. You guys with hair need to be grateful. Look at all the receding hairlines and worse. My husband's hair would probably be all white but he colors it. I'd love to see it white. I think it's pretty. Now, don't you go asking me about my hair color...
I guess if you keep you vanities limited and actually recognize them, then you are being sensible IMHO.
Certainly some men contribute to it but I believe almost all of them are in marketing or sales. My lame theory based on a thought experiment is - some marketing guy realized one day (probably in the 50's but I need more research to pin it down) that women could become obsessed over this and the marketing and revenues have never stopped since.
BTW - after I posted this I thought I should have mentioned that some makeup is a very realizable thing in my opinion. But like everything it can be taken to an extreme.
I need to get over to your post, thanks.
by correspondence - LOL well there are plenty of self help books if you can find your glasses.
well said - thanks
thanks - have you asked your husband to stop coloring?
It's a shame. The whole youth thing has robbed people of the detachment and serenity that should accompany age. No more wrestling with all that ambition and appearance nonsense. Just having a twinkle in one's eye and being young inside.
serenity now there's a thought.
Would you dare use the cleanser:)?
Your comment is a great example of why I enjoying blogging. Getting a comment/question that I not only never expected but would have never thought of, thanks.
The is no because my wife "owns" the cleanser and would be upset about me using it. Secondly I don't think it would help much. I have used moisturizers because of dry skin especially in the winter.
There is a double standard and for the most part women have not been in a position to create the standard just deal with it.
Would absolutely accept the half bottle of age-defying cream.
And no, I don't think women create the problem. I think men with grey hair appear debonnair, and women just appear old and haggard. I can say this, I've been going grey since I was 18.
As for your philosophy on continuing to pursue dreams even though we may age, well, I couldn't agree with you more...now where did I put my hair dye...?
I don't know about the creation of it but would you agree that women help keep it going? I'm talking about this aging double standard not the other double standards of which I can think of two others.
At least you have some scalp hair to worry about its colour... talking of which, have your pubes gone white?
Your curiosity has gone beyond reasonable. Maybe you got a petition of thousands of signers I might reveal the answer but I'm sure it would not matter by then.
Thanks, I do your gist and point. Hope you are right about one point and wrong about another. More women having more access and power would be a good thing in general. More men buying into the youthfulness BS would be bad.
thanks for taking time to explain.
I'll take that as a yes then, like me!!
There's a double standard. Many men think they deserve younger women and so women try to look younger, especially if they don't want to get stuck with an older man. Having been back out in the dating world for a few years, I'm increasingly convinced that this inequity was not created by women.
Maybe this whole discussion is more complex than I first realized. Too many factors to consider. Married vs. dating (you could put married and dating but that's whole other issue), what age the women is, mom vs. no kids. A never married, never had kids thirty something would think of this issue completely different than a 75 grandmother who is now on the dating scene again. I don't know how anyone could be a matchmaker for a living.
I agree that women suffer from it and take it more to heart. I do not agree that women necessarily keep it going more. I feel that smacks a bit of "blame the victim". To me that would be like saying that many of the stereotypes in America are kept alive by the people being stereotyped. A lot of insecurities are internalized or developed without question. If you don't see who you are or what you are becoming portrayed in a positive light, it takes a person of a singularly reflective and strong sense of self not to fall prey to stereotypes.
The media does not portray older women as an ideal to strive for. For the most part they are left out of the picture or relegated to being grandmothers. The media is still largely controlled by men, therefore those images are still mostly being put out by men and their outlooks. When women of all ages have more access and power to represent themselves I am willing to bet that you will see older women being represented in a more positive and attractive light.
There is also much money to be made by making women strive for eternal youth. Some companies build their fortunes on it. Men are not as susceptible to it yet, but slowly that market is growing. Many young men today are starting to buy into the anti-aging, youth is where it's at b.s. Some older men buy into it too, just take a look at Kenny Rogers.
I could go on and on about this, but you get the gist.
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