Sunday, February 23, 2014

is it a gender thing

I’m convinced from years of family life (being a brother, raising kids, relationships) that men and women are different in many ways. The Venus vs. Mars thing manifest itself in many situations. However, don’t confuse that idea with an idea that all men or all women are much alike either. It’s takes all kinds to make the world go around (I think that’s the saying).

I like to picture it as knobs on the control panel of our behavior and attitude. Each of us has different settings. Some make adjustments more often than others.  It seems the emotion control is more sensitive in women (the knob is constantly being tuned).

I don’t know if there are studies to support my next observation but Lisleman Labs would kindly accept your money to conduct a study. I’ve detected that women tend to communicate better and more often than men. My time in blogland tells me more women write blogs than men.  Women are more active on FB than men. They are just more sociable.

Blogging presents a conflict of wanting to share but also at the same time not wanting expose your life to the whole world. I post memories and family stories infrequently. You are not going to find much “soap opera” stuff here.

Since blogging typically takes a little more effort in composing a good post compared to the short remarks thrown out up on Facebook, a blog post  provides a more complete picture.  More time on the thinking phase with blogs.

So is the desire to share personal feelings and situations stronger in women than men?

Back in 1983 (before blogs - duh) I had one hell of an emotional roller coaster. Actually it was more thrown-from-a-speeding-train than roller coaster. Too many changes over a short time. Divorce, career change, relocation, and becoming a single parent happened in under 9 months. Thank God I had family support.

This blog sharing idea brought this memory back. I’m sure if blogging had been around back then my feelings and situation would have been posted. I don’t think it would have helped but we’ll never know. 

The reason I’m sure my personal stuff would have been posted is because what happened to me in Kansas City that year. Back in 83, US Sprint flew me out to Kansas City for an interview. Now the fact that they paid to fly me out and put me up in a nice hotel tells me they were reasonably interested in hiring me. Oh did I blow that day of interviewing. 

For whatever reason (needed someone to talk to?) I shared way too much information about my recent divorce situation. I have to wonder now, if they thought I was even mentally stable. Months later a different career path appeared and I was off and running stumbling in different direction. Maybe our emotional eruptions have little to do with gender. 

What do you think?


Bearman Cartoons said...

Just because men are more succinct in their communication doesn't make them worse communicators haha (ducks from the ladies who are now throwing things)

lisleman said...

Good point and thanks for being willing to stand up to possible attack.

Secret Agent Woman said...

The research on emotional intimacy in friendships shows that two women have the most emotionally intimate relationship, a man and a woman next and two men least. I think, in general, women are typically more willing to engage in discussions of their feelings and thoughts on personal issues. But in my work, I've certainly seen men learn to become more open as they grow more comfortable talking with me.

lisleman said...

thanks I appreciate your professional take on it. Emotional intimacy is a new term for me. It makes sense. Good to know the men are willing to open up. Do you ever get too much dumped out from your patients? thanks

longhollow said...

I think you were totally right in your statement that there are some basic differences, but that all men and all women aren't alike, either. Just within my own circle of female friends there are extremes. For most of my life, I counted more men as friends than women, but for some reason I'm able to connect much better with those same women I felt I had nothing in common with years ago. (Have I just proven that women ramble on more than men?)

Secret Agent Woman said...

Never - there is no such thing as TMI in my job. Unless they are talking about their bowels - that I do NOT want to hear.

lisleman said...

Discussion of bowels should always be strictly limited to select situations. For example, a toddler and need to tell your mom or dad or talking to a medical doctor. Thanks for sharing that. It's only funny because it didn't happen to me.

lisleman said...

Rambling - I've been known to do that myself. It's a family trait to include more background detail than necessary to most stories.
You are right that extremes show up in both genders.

lisleman said...

That job would have taken me on a completely different path. I'm sure I would not be sitting in this house right now. Maybe in a better house, maybe in a van down by the river - who knows. Stressful situations can focus you on just wishing for the next morning to bring a better day. thanks

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