Monday, January 30, 2012

Long tailed black swan tipping

I’m still waiting for this blog to reach a tipping point. 

Oh wait, that term doesn’t mean tips as in loose change?

I’m certain there is more bullshit in marketing and business consulting than any other industry. Their word coinage recipe calls for ego mixed with bullshit. I found a picture of a great venue for their next conference: 

Remember management by walking around? - I thought management by sleeping at your desk made more sense. What did Tom Peters know? I guess he knew how to write a best seller and make more money than me. That management style sounds dumb to me but it’s better than management by running and hiding which I’ve experienced.

The new definition of the word “space” is often heard on the business channel. I suspect a marketing person with extra space between their ears decided “space” sounded more hip than “market”. Here’s an example of this annoying usage: 
Pay Me Later and Often Loan Services today announced plans to move into the knee replacement space.

My opinion of few terms that should be dropped (please add your own in the comments)

  • Right sizing - often more like a right screwing.
  • Zeitgeist - connected to German philosopher Hegel so you sound very intellectual throwing it out at a meeting. Its usage should be restricted to the spirit world. 
  • Groupthink - From my experience in deciding which place to go for lunch at work, I don’t believe it works well. 
  • Crowdfunding - better than groupthink if the money is coming my way. Do we really a new word for this charity collection? 
  • Dress for success - ZZ Top wrote a song about that. Their success goal wasn’t at the office.


I can’t blog


sparkle.farkle said...

Your featured "conference room" looks like a lot of the yards in my hometown --with the exception that their "festval seating" sprouts flowers and Blessed Virgin Mary statues.

lisleman said...

A great homes and gardens place I bet.  Is it more like rusted cars and statues?  thanks

sparkle.farkle said...

Actually, it's a posh, gated community whose residents are Catholic toilet lovers with green thumbs. Just kidding! (<--But only about the "posh gated" part.)

sparkle.farkle said...

Actually, it's a posh, gated community whose residents are Catholic toilet lovers with green thumbs. Just kidding! (<--But only about the "posh gated" part.)

Shrinky said...

I had to laugh at this - hubby is a "marketing man" - but hey, it could be worse, he started out in advertising!  After 20 plus years of marriage he knows far better than to  ever try any of that agency-speak around me, it only earns him double chores around the house.. 

lisleman said...

marketing man - sorry to hear that.  Just joking, I bet he finds your story phrases fun and a good distraction from the boring business-speak.  Double chores - that's tough.

Barbara said...

Ah, those words put me to sleep! I really get tired of all the social media marketing tips, too. I just want to blog. :)

lisleman said...

Hmm putting the reader to sleep.  Maybe I should not expect too many comments.  I truly believe the social media marketing tip is to sell social media marketing tips.

Joseph Smith said...

Here are a few more Corporate BS terms...
"Re-engineering" synonymous with "Shit-Canning"
"Basis Points" A great way for financial people to make very small increases sound HUGE, as in "Profitability rose by 400 Basis Points..."  Translation:  4/10ths of one percent.
"Restructuring Charges" This is the CEO's FAVORITE tool!  Instead of saying, "The factory we purchased two years ago for $20 million was closed last year" you can say something like "By taking a $20 million 'Restructuring Charge' we better position ourselves for future profitability...

lisleman said...

thanks Joe - I thought you might have a few I didn't remember.  Restructuring is the high brow term for the low brow ass covering.

Jennifer Richardson said...

hahaha.....thanks for the relaxing read:)

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