(the clown is taking off his virtual funny nose for this post - if you are a newcomer this is not my typical post)
I'm having a difficult time deciding how to write a feeling.
Yesterday, I was going through old stuff which included pictures. By the time I went to bed an emotion inside me was telling to write about my dad. I didn't even sleep very well because you see this subject stirs a mixture of emotions. At one point I came very close to just writing it at 3 in the morning but I'm glad thought it over more.
I miss him.
A feeling that still surprises me because there was a period in my life which I remember well that I didn't think I would ever miss him. I was wrong.
I'm not going to go into the background because for one reason it would be the background revealed from my eyes. I just wish he could have been more open about his feelings and shared the background of his life before I showed up. I wanted to understand him better. He left the world and I still look for some answers from him.
Please don't get the impression that he didn't do great and wonderful things for us. He did and I am grateful for the many fun and exciting times he shared with me and the family.
This is a favorite picture of mine since I found it a pile of old slides. What I see in this picture triggers a flood of memories. That pencil stuck in the side of his hat, the backyard location, that happy look on my face, all give me some time travel.
(thanks Mom for taking this great shot)
Also, Eric Clapton's "My Father's Eyes" expresses this so well that it brings me tears. Take a listen:
(oh, I even thought of turning off the comments on this post because I certainly am not looking for any sympathy. But this is a blog and sharing comments enriches it so comments are welcomed.)