Wednesday, April 17, 2013

bloggers on big snails

As spokesman for the Institute for Better Postings I want to share a bit of news and commentary on another spokesperson. Perhaps this spokeswoman had a few spokes stuck in her head. Perhaps it's that Florida sun.

this is not the spokeswoman it's a huge snail


This story comes to us from Florida, once known for the Florida Citrus Commission spokeswoman who disliked gays but loved oranges (extra points if you remember her name). I have no idea what she thinks of snail sexuality, but I suspect few people have ever written those words so lets move on.

A recent Chicago Tribune newspaper (extra points if you still read newspapers) printed this article from Reuters. I suspect the article might have been saved for page filler but it did include a similar nice picture as above.

Guess what? The Burmese Python is not the only invasive species (I believe Florida's first invasive species was the New York retiree) in Florida. Today Florida is fighting snails, huge snails, big enough to carry away a small child. Why does Florida have such a constant problem with invasive species? I don't know but suspect it's the sun effect on people's brains.

Alright fine, another animal invasion. Even Illinois didn't want to be let out so we opened our rivers up to an Asian Carp invasion (see fishy news). However, the basic news of a big bad snail alone would not merit a post here at the institute (we have standards). What makes this snail article special are the spokeswoman's quotes:

"They're huge, they move around, they look like they're looking at you ... communicating with you, and people enjoy them for that,"
"If you got a ham sandwich in Jamaica or the Dominican Republic, or an orange, and you didn't eat it all and you bring it back into the States and then you discard it, at some point, things can emerge from those products,"

As a spokesperson myself I would never offer the hint of a suggestion that I communicate with snails. My spokesperson training tells me, her suggestive statement completely destroyed her authority on this scientific subject. That's not bad enough. No, she continues to discuss her consumption of ham sandwiches and oranges. Really, would you not agree that while eating either of these items you would certainly notice even a tiny snail inside? I would never go to her house for lunch.

14 comments:

longhollow said...

All I can think is...UGH!

Lisa said...

I love the New York retiree bit :) I wonder who is the spokesperson, not Sarah Palin?


Hola Bill.

lisleman said...

Not a big snail lover? thanks

lisleman said...

Hola (practicing Spanish?) I have not seen a comment from you in a long time. How's things? Thanks for sharing a comment. I've been busy the past few days.

Lisa said...

It has been a while. I am well. I trust you are well too, busy is good.

lisleman said...

I'm fine too. Part of the busy time was related to minor flooding of our basement - not so good. The mess is cleaned up now. I'll get posting material from it.

Lisa said...

I think I remember you went through a back flow of clogged up drain before, or something that caused your basement to flood. I hope it is not too serious and no major damage.

lisleman said...

I'm impressed that you remember that. Yes there was a Christmas Day water backup problem. This was not as bad just rain water. I think it's fixed

Joanna Jenkins said...

I think I need to not go to Florida until this problem is solved. OMGosh, those are nasty looking snails.

Secret Agent Woman said...

Anita Bryant. (shudder)


Big snails. How creepy! I even like escargot, but don't think I could deal with one like that.

lisleman said...

Thanks. Yes extra points will added to whatever point collection you may have. I have no idea if they are eaten but if so you could feed a family. A few creepy things come in all sizes.

lisleman said...

I'm sure you will not see any of these snails in the sale brochures. A nice starfish no problem and big slimy snail no way. thanks

Lilly said...

Oh my, now that is some snail. I never thought about having a pet snail before but maybe now......

lisleman said...

You are joking. You would not have a pet snail would you? You have not slowed down that much have you? Dogs, cats, or birds are too fast. Fish are good (watching or eating). You could walk this snail if you took about a week to go a block. It would be easy to take in the car. Just stick it to a side window. thanks

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