Tuesday, September 20, 2011

I laugh about it now

I hope you do too. 

(I'm linking this to Mama Kat's writer's workshop.  
Her prompt - Last week we covered your Top 10 Life Stories…this week choose one and share all the details.)

A funny little story from my past. It needs some background first.




It’s 1983, Athens Greece and I’m a Lieutenant in the USAF. More importantly, I’m freshly divorced. That sounds like an oxymoron because divorce has nothing fresh about it. This is also my first European trip. 

A young blonde attractive female Lieutenant and a Greek restaurant (all them are Greek - Athens right?) fills out the rest of the background. 

Now this was not really a “date”. I was visiting the Athens’ Air Force unit on business and she was just hosting but she was kinda hot. Who knows maybe her commanding officer asked her to arrange a dinner. I didn’t care, the idea was more than fine with me.

We get seated at our table and are asked about drinks. I’m more of beer drinker or even whiskey but hey I’m thinking wine would be more appropriate and maybe look more sophisticated. So I order a bottle of wine. Merlot I recall. 

Out comes the waiter (did you know these wine stewards are called sommeliers - French sounds classy too) with the bottle. I don’t recall specifying a year because I don’t have a clue about years. I was convinced that she was younger than me and that was about the only age that entered my mind that night.

Then the sommelier offers me the customary taste of the wine. Does anyone ever reject the bottle of wine? What would they do with the opened bottle of wine? 

So I take a quick drink (yeah maybe I should have swirled and smelled it first). 

Immediately I gagged and a spray of wine went flying out my mouth and nose and onto the table. I don’t know if some of it hits her or not.

never spilled a drop of this one


The sommelier at this point gives me a shocked look and asks if everything is OK. 

After catching my breath, I look at him and say, “Oh it’s fine we’ll take it.” 

I was probably nervous and maybe a little jet lagged. It was embarrassing for sure. My work at the Athens station was only about a week and she never offered any more dinner suggestions. I wonder if she remembers my wine tasting fiasco. 

Serving your country does require sacrifice. 

I know you have some funny stories or jokes. I have browsed across many on my blog visits, which is why I started Lisleman’s Left-over Laughs (LLL). LLL number 3 will be the next post. Please stop by and add your link to a funny post.



I can’t blog

28 comments:

BearmanCartoons said...

You need to get over to my site and at least ACT like you are excited to be a winner.

Nezzy said...

What a wonderful story.  I bet ya did make an impression on the 'hot' guide but maybe not the one you were after.  Heeehehehehe!!!!

God bless ya and have a most beautiful day!   :o)

Thisstopwilloughby said...

Sometimes, the worst experiences end up being the best stories!  Your wine tasting story definitely qualifies!

lisleman said...

Wow - I had no idea - my fault for not checking.  I'm on my way.

lisleman said...

I bet you are right.  thanks

lisleman said...

Yes the story is better than the experience was.  thanks

CaliforniaGirl500 said...

Oh Boy.  i could leave so many different stories...most of which are totally not Pg, PG-13 or anything else.  Let's see (channeling Jon Lovitt as the big fat liar)  "Yes!  I have one!"  I was Queen of the Cruise Ship".  Yeah.  And all the stewards and waiters and so forth wanted me.  But I held out for one man, one man only...the wet towel guy. The wet towel guy comes around with warm, wet towels when you've had an extremely messy meal of BBQ, Chinese food or similar.  He was dreamy.  He was married.  We threw caution to the wind.  We...

Where am I?  Hello!~!?  You out there?

tracismixedbag said...

This reminds me a little of the Parks and Rec. episode where April and Andy are doing spit-takes. One person is supposed to say something shocking "I'm having Josh Groban's baby!" Spew, spit spew. The sommelier was probably thinking "Maybe this is a wine tasting custom in his country?" Great story.

lisleman said...

Wow steamy towels from a dreamy guy.  Did I miss that post?  BBQ Chinese food - caution to the wind - this could be a novel.
thanks

lisleman said...

No probably more like, this idiot should go back to his country.  Thanks.  I've watched very little of Parks and Rec.  but the episodes I've seen were good.

frau said...

Omg....too funny! It always pisses me off they have the guy taste it why is that?? Funny story....I imagine you have a lot of those!!

lisleman said...

I guess that is sexist to have the guy taste it.  Maybe they assume the guy is paying for it so he should taste it.  That's a bad assumption too.  I think the whole taste routine is just for show anyway.
thanks

OneStonedCrow said...

Hehe lisleman ... I'm guessing you didn't get anywhere with the blonde Lt - I thought that the punchline would be that the bottle of wine would cost a small fortune ... yeah, I also wonder if anyone has ever rejected the wine after taking a (good) taste of it?

oceangirl said...

not a possibility that the wine was really bad?  And freshly divorced is okay.  I love this story and could relate to it, Athens, work, host, something rather similar to our work.

lisleman said...

you guessed right!  Overall the trip was good though.  thanks

lisleman said...

The problem was the wine going down the wrong way.  So you have been to Athens?  I have only been there that one time.  Hey the LLL #3 is up now.
thanks

oceangirl said...

I had not been to Athens but my husband did go, it was just in general, we traveled on work, we received guests on work. I don't know how to be funny but I will try and when I come up, I will link up.

DISQUS had problem again but it went to this nice comment window. I wonder if mine would do the same when problem arises.

Pat Fortunato said...

I was all of 17 and on a date with an "older" man (He was probably 19) at a French restaurant. Trying to look sophisticated, I lit a cigarette with a candle — and burned my eyelashes! Have you ever smelt burnt mascara? So much for sophisticated.

lisleman said...

ouch that's funny - thanks for sharing.  Hey on the subject of sharing, why not  link up one of your funny posts to my LLL #3.

W.C. Camp said...

Wow Lisleman you are about as cool as they come to STILL take the bottle of wine. That is like some scene out of a comedy!! True story for me but I guess I was nervous on my first few dates with my wife? Every time I took her home I would have to pull over, walk behind the car and puke, clean-up and then get her to her door. No kisses for ME!!! Finally got over it and she married me 29 years ago so moral of the story "Don't be afraid to show your date that they make you sick!" Good luck on your new 'Leftover Laughs' project ... I am still working on trying to get a few chuckles on today's stuff much less my archives! Take care, W.C.C.

lisleman said...

thanks for your story.   That adds another dimension to dating.  I certainly don't enjoy puking.

may said...

I found your story completely relatable!  In situations that call for sophistication I go all Lucille Ball!

Jerri Miller said...

That's hilarious!  It sounds like something I would do, if I ever were to order wine from a sommelier ...

I wonder why we always try to not be ourselves when we want to make a good impression?  It never works out!

lisleman said...

Oh she was a funny lady - and a redhead too.

lisleman said...

Hopefully I've learned over the years to be myself.  You are right about  trying too hard.  It can really bite you in the end but it does make for good comedy.

Patrice Plauche said...

That is too funny!

Mrs4444 said...

Nice... :)

lisleman said...

thanks for checking out the story

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