Special edition of Lisleman’s news and commentary.
I just figured this out and need to alert everyone.
Did you ever wonder why the modern world has daylight savings time?
Aliens - that’s why.
Think about it. Tonight (March 12) a whole hour will just disappears. Where did it go? The aliens use that hour to abduct people. Nobody notices, well except for the people abducted and the aliens.
Thank goodness one very alert Brit reported how he had gained an hour one October night and therefore was probably abducted. The Ministry of Defence (they spell that way over on the right side of the ocean) told him that the clocks had changed that night. Duh, that’s why they changed the clocks. They are working with the aliens.
One good thing about abductions - weight loss.
Hey have ever heard of any abducted people being feed well?
The aliens don’t provide any good spreads of food, drinks or desserts. I guess they eat other stuff. Maybe they don’t know about catering services. No, I don’t think they eat people (maybe a kidney?).
So if you are abducted for any length of time you are sure to lose a few pounds. Also, you’ll really impress your fellow weight watchers when you tell them how you lost 5 pounds in one night.
Don’t worry if you didn’t read this before the clocks change because there is nothing you can do to stop them. My only suggestion, you might want a grab a sandwich before they take you away but that’s about all you can do.
If you have been abducted, please let us know. Maybe I could arrange a weight watchers or Jenny Craig spokesperson deal.
(note the real picture above was found here)