Saturday, March 12, 2011

Aliens coming tonight

Special edition of Lisleman’s news and commentary.



I just figured this out and need to alert everyone.

Did you ever wonder why the modern world has daylight savings time?

Aliens - that’s why.

Think about it. Tonight (March 12) a whole hour will just disappears. Where did it go? The aliens use that hour to abduct people. Nobody notices, well except for the people abducted and the aliens.

Thank goodness one very alert Brit reported how he had gained an hour one October night and therefore was probably abducted. The Ministry of Defence (they spell that way over on the right side of the ocean) told him that the clocks had changed that night. Duh, that’s why they changed the clocks. They are working with the aliens.

One good thing about abductions - weight loss.

Hey have ever heard of any abducted people being feed well?

The aliens don’t provide any good spreads of food, drinks or desserts. I guess they eat other stuff. Maybe they don’t know about catering services. No, I don’t think they eat people (maybe a kidney?).

So if you are abducted for any length of time you are sure to lose a few pounds. Also, you’ll really impress your fellow weight watchers when you tell them how you lost 5 pounds in one night.

Don’t worry if you didn’t read this before the clocks change because there is nothing you can do to stop them. My only suggestion, you might want a grab a sandwich before they take you away but that’s about all you can do.

If you have been abducted, please let us know. Maybe I could arrange a weight watchers or Jenny Craig spokesperson deal.

(note the real picture above was found here)

25 comments:

Mrs. Ski said...

Now there's a theory for daylight savings time I have never heard before. :) I hate springing forward....I'd rather just fall back. haha.

I had never thought of smoking effecting your bones healing methods before either, very interesting! One more reason I'm glad I quit.

BearmanCartoons said...

I thought people gained weight when they inserted the anal probe.

Kristina P. said...

Does this mean I can gorge on Girl Scout cookies tonight?

Kelley said...

Well, now I don't feel so stupid for sleeping on my roof. I was actually hoping to be abducted tonight. I didn't realize anyone else really knew what was going on. I'll let you know what happens!

lisleman said...

yes the fall is easier but I would rather just give the whole thing up.

lisleman said...

No you lose it in all sweat and shaking produced. At least I would be sweating and shaking. thanks

lisleman said...

sure go ahead - nothing like a good cookie to end the day.

lisleman said...

please do - sweet dreams.

OneStonedCrow said...

Wow ... thanks for enlightening me ... I've always wondered where time went to ... it seems like our govt is also in cahoots with their Alien masters ... we lose/gain an hour in April and October ...

... I also now know why I've never been abducted - I'm too skinny ... :)

TechnoBabe said...

If the aliens come to get you and you don't feel like going with them, send them to our house. They can take us. We would be really great specimens.
Personally, I do not like changing the clocks. Why can't we just leave time alone.

secret agent woman said...

I love when we get to set the clocks back in the Spring and get an extra hour of light in the evenings. But I think we should just leave them that way all year long - who needs extra light in the mornings?

lisleman said...

Not that I've taken a survey on it, but I think you are the first person I know of that likes daylight saving time. But you think we should run it that was all year - one time change for the rest of time? Instead of changing clocks why don't we just settle on work schedules that better fit our life?

lisleman said...

You know a true friend when they volunteer to take your place in an alien abduction. Thanks - oh wait - maybe that should be "you know a true nut".
thanks it the thought that counts.

lisleman said...

thanks - you got me wondering - are there many UFO sightings in Africa? If I was an alien wanting to covertly examine a plant I would pick a place like Africa over say the US or the UK. Maybe I'm wrong but I think there are places in Africa that you could hide for decades.

Dwmatty said...

Good thing I read this after the change.

lisleman said...

yeah the news might have kept you up all night. thanks

Kristin_The_Goat said...

Oh, I love DST and I have always thought that it should stay that way all year. I'd even go for DST on top of year round DST. The aliens would have a few extra hours the year we started this plan lol

lisleman said...

thanks - you two should start a campaign. I would not join your cause but who knows my perception that most people hate it might be wrong.

Emily said...

I think it is a government conspiracy b/c changing the clocks is just plain stupid!

dbs said...

Finally someone explained DST! Genius. (Except I'm going to dream about being abducted by aliens tonight...or will it be a dream?)

lisleman said...

when I see your interview on CNN, I'll be able to say he comments on my blog. cool thanks

Mrs4444 said...

Sadly, I was not abducted this year. With everything that's gone on lately, I could have used the vacation!

lisleman said...

that' a good viewpoint on alien abduction - a vacation. Did you get a spring break yet? thanks for browsing by.

Mrs. Tuna said...

Well thank goodness we don't change our clocks in Arizona so we don't get snatched.

lisleman said...

You and Hawaii are the only states not switching clocks around. I would consider that a benefit to living there. thanks for sharing.

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