Wednesday, August 11, 2010

some news from nowhere

(if you didn’t read my trip report on the middle of nowhere you should read that first)

Before I left my brother’s hideout in the Missouri woods, he brought a copy of  the local paper, Ozark County Times.  Yes, people still read newspapers.  Local papers are best for police reports which are both interesting and useful.  It helps to know what going on in the area.

Ozark County’s rural population is protected by the Sheriff’s department.  After returning home, I found their web site (check it out and be sure to look at the “patrol” page it has background music and graphics to help introduce the staff) and learned they have a facebook page which I follow now.

Please understand I don’t know the Sheriff or his Deputies and honestly I’m glad I didn’t have a visit from them during my trip there.  My knowledge of Sheriff departments and their operations is limited to listening to Eric Clapton one time hit, “I shot the Sheriff” which plays well with his other song, “Knockin on heaven's door”.  I digress, but want to say I respect the important work of law enforcement and found the people I met in Ozark County to be nice folk.

Here’s my selection from the local Sheriff’s report (using their wording with my comments in gold/yellow):
  • July 27 2:01 PM - Someone took two gas cans by the high school.  (I’m not certain if this is a theft or arson threat)
  • July 27 2:39 PM - Caller says his son’s ex-wife is loading her truck with his son’s stuff.  Near P highway.  Sheriff Pace.  (I’ll assume two gas cans were not included in the stuff)
  • July 27 4:20 PM - Caller says his daughter-in-law is fighting and arguing with him in front of the kids.  Near city park.  Parties separated.  Sgt. Schofield.  (Please note that Yellville is in Arkansas - not this county but I wonder if these calls come in often down there)
  • July 28 7:15 AM - Man walking in the middle of the road acting strange.  Between PP highway and Tecumseh.  Sheriff Pace.
  • July 28 1:57 PM -  Disturbance.  Man “flipping out” in the Town and Country  parking lot.  Gone on arrival.  Dep. Zielinski  (note Flippin is in Arkansas)
  • July 28 10:01 PM -  Suspicious person.  Male with a gray t-shirt and jeans walking toward First Christian Church.  Unable to locate.  Sgt. Schofield.
  • July 28 10:22 PM -  Disturbance.  Caller is wanting to get her clothes from her sister’s house on J highway.  Dep. Shelton.
  • July 28 11:00 PM - Abandoned vehicle.  Red Chevy S-10 with no plates and nobody around.  Palmer road.  Transferred to Taney county.    (using my detective skills, here’s my take - some guy from Flippin AR. drove up in his Chevy,  decided he would look for roadkill on foot, meanwhile some women steals his Chevy and drives to her sister’s place to steal clothes, now Mr. Flippin is lost and pissed off but by the end of the evening he finds religion.)

Lastly this could be my favorite and I would have loved to have taken the call.
  • July 31 9:40 PM - Caller had two inner tubes damaged after loaning them to friends.  Tecumseh.  Dep.  Shelton.  (needs to find new friends)



Kristina P. said...

These are funny. I went to BYU in college, which is honored to be voted as the most sober university, every year, and they do a Police Beat in the university paper. It's always so funny,

W.C. Camp said...

On July 28th you forgot to note the obvious ... whenever somebody is between PP and anything else, they will always act strange - it is an unzipped rule or something? W.C.C.

unknownmami said...

Friends are harder to replace. Just get new inner tubes and don't lend them to careless friends.

lisleman said...

could you imagine calling the sheriff's dept. about that? I'm not sure they are good friends since the caller contacted the law.

lisleman said...

good catch but all the woods in this area I wouldn't be trying to go in the middle of the road.

Bearmancartoons said...

I remember my college, the local newspaper was only good to read the police blotter to see which of your friends were arrested for drunk and disorderly.

OneStonedCrow said...

Hehe Officer lisleman - I think you missed your true calling - but seriously, if this is the level of 'crime' in Ozark County (yay! I got to use that word again) then it seems like a pretty peaceful place to live ... great post ... and the cops even have time to have a website ... how cool is that?

Jillsy said...

Totally Mayberry!! Too funny!

Nezzy said...

......but I did not shoot the deputy! Sorry, I just had to belt it out or this Ozark chick would simply explode!

We take out at Tecumseh when 'Farm Boy' and I go floatin'.

Take care and ya'll have a wonderfully blessed day!!!

Nezzy said...

BTW: Our county is commonly referred to as Booger County all over the state because of the extreme crime rate. Just sayin...........

lisleman said...

I was an officer once, in the Air Force. Maybe the safest and financial type of officer would be a corporate officer.
Yes it is a very peaceful scenic laid-back place.

lisleman said...

oh you got me whistling now.

lisleman said...

You lost me on that one. What does Booger have to do with a crime rate? Are we taking about the sticky objects one pulls out of one's nose?

So you go floatin down the river. I don't think I went through Tecumseh but I gather it is in Ozark county. Have you ever floated in the Current river? It's been more that 20 years since I did but I still remember it. Big Spring area is very nice.

otin said...

What? no stolen pigs? haha My mind is thinking Doc Hollywood! lol

Mrs4444 said...

You are just plain silly.

These look quite familiar...same suspicious, strange people, different town.haha

lisleman said...

thanks, maybe these people have many relatives that live all over the country. This was really taken from the local paper except for my comments of course. This middle of nowhere place is very different from my suburban area. Nicer is some ways.

Featured Post

easy cheat post