Friday, April 13, 2012

Twilight vampire research - Lisleman’s Lab

- Fresh from Lisleman’s research lab - 

What you didn’t know I ran a research lab? Well it’s just beginning. I still need to clear a pile of beanie babies to create a little space. No problem, this research will benefit from the latest cloud computing trends. The lab features a large jar of coins to support the predictive modeling (coin tossing).

Oh yeah that research finding - 

Chick flicks and the books on which they are based, ruined the vampire myth. Traditional vampires are scary blood sucking old creepy monsters. Today’s redefined vampires are romantic pale abs-boasting young men full of teen angst. They are trouble. Bella instead of a Bela Lugosi. Did the author intend that connection?

Vampire book, movie, and TV show popularity has combined with social networking and dating sites. The potential for future generations embarrassment stress grows with each vampire product. This embarrassment stress will likely be more severe than generation X kids had when they discovered old pictures of their parents in disco style clothing. 

Here’s a link to a slideshow of the odd/weird dating sites popping up in the internet cloud. (the slideshow is safe but some of the sites mentioned are extreme weird - be careful)

One example site called vampire passions (since when did sucking blood become a passion? a weird abnormal perversion not a passion) even offers matching your favorite blood types. (full disclosure I have a negative type).

Unions formed by hooking up through vampire dating sites will most likely produce a confused next generation. Vampires (the old type anyway) have extended lifespans and will drain the social security funds faster than blood sucked from a twilight teen’s neck. The aging vampires combined with a lower income earning confused generation lacking motivation will turn the country into a zombie land. (if I get some funding the zombie trend is scheduled to be studied next

Hungarian accented Bela Lugosi will be pulling the stake out of his heart over this disastrous fad. 

NOTE: No blood was sucked during this research. Please let me know if you or your cult would be interested in funding a research study.


Barbara said...

I haven't fallen victim (hehe) to the Twilight faze, but I confess I was hooked on the Dark Shadows soap opera... I'm sure it had just as much melodrama as Twilight, although much less teen angst.

lisleman said...

 I heard something about that.  Is it like that old TV show with a similar name?  This trend appears to be spreading.

lillyslife said...

I prefer to stay in the light Lisleman. My ex partner was a blood sucking evil monster and I won't even read about the dark side fiction or not. Yuk, yuk, yuk. But Twilight captures a bigger market. TEENAGERS. They are worth a lot of money to everyone but parents. I am off to go and buy some gnomes today, scroll to the bottom of my last post to find out why, lol. Have a good weekend over your way. I still haven't got this Disquis posting set up properly.

lisleman said...

Staying in the light - that's good.  I didn't expect the ex description.  Good thing you didn't have any stakes laying around.  "Teenagers are worth a lot of money to everyone but their parents."  I should put that a t-shirt.  thanks  I'll check out the gnomes.
yes you need to add your blog url to your profile.
BTW, I mentioned your blog and the mowing guy in my last post.

OneStonedCrow said...

Yes well. how can we be sure you were not tainted during your research ... can you show a pic of your neck and fangs please?

Bearmancartoons said...

Do you collect beanie babies for fun or profit?

tracismixedbag said...

Twilight's not really a good vampire book to base your studies on, even though it was all the rage. Blood sucking, mysterious vampires still exist. Take Eric the vampire as an example. Perfect. I grew up on Anne Rice so I have fond feelings for Louis. 

lisleman said...

What are you a part-time detective?  I have not been bitten, enjoy garlic on food, have been on sunny beaches and do not sleep in a coffin.  I like bats though (good insect eaters).
Good questions.

lisleman said...

 I never collected then but our daughter did and I think they are still in our house.  There is a lady not far from here that I know of through a neighbor who made a fortune by starting a beanie baby magazine back during the craze.

lisleman said...

 Thanks I didn't know.  True blood is better then?  truer?

tracismixedbag said...

Well, it's definitely more adult. If you mean truer like they actually suck people's blood and are mysterious irresistible bad guys then, yeah. The show is major camp.

Secret Agent Woman said...

Not a vampire fan and never saw Twilight.  I don't get the appeal.

The dating sites were odd - seems like unless you lived in a huge city, you'd be unlikely to find someone with such specific interest son one of those sites.

lisleman said...

 I agree on both items.  The low expense and ease of setting up internet sites allow these niche groups to share their odd interest.  There sure are many odd interests out there.  The  big city vs. rural range of odd groups might even change as internet connectivity spreads.

Jene said...

I don't get the people who think they're vampires. When I was younger (not that young, I guess, maybe 12), my BFFs and I used to pretend that we were the Weird Sisters (the Three Fates) reincarnate. We had a whole mythology surrounding it and everything. Even then we knew that it wasn't real, no matter how badly we wanted it to be.

Do they REALLY believe that they're vampires?

lisleman said...

 Who knows what people believe.  There are plenty of strange stuff out there.  "3 Fates" - was that a female version of the 3 Musketeers or something like that?  Fantasy can be good fun but after I certain level I guess it starts to become madness.

Featured Post

easy cheat post