Friday, December 17, 2010

cup of cedary


Starbucks Christmas Blend coffee - It tastes great and I like the gift wrapping style package - 
BUT
What’s with the description on the written on the side?
Maybe I’m taste bud challenged but I just don’t buy into the weird descriptions given to various beverages. People do have different taste and tasting abilities.

Remember the movie, “Sideways”?
Miles character -- [while tasting wine] “ It tastes like the back of a fucking L.A. school bus. Now they probably didn't de-stem, hoping for some semblance of concentration, crushed it up with leaves and mice, and then wound up with this rancid tar and turpentine bullshit. Fuckin' Raid.”

Jack character -- “ Tastes pretty good to me. “

I’m Jack.

But when I read words like the ones on this package, I believe they are written by a-few-clowns-short-of-a-circus marketing team.

Words from the side of Christmas Blend coffee:
  • spicy
  • cedary (growing up our family had a cedar closet and the smell of that wood is interesting but I don’t want it in my coffee)
  • syrupy (what should I pour it on my waffles?)
  • earthy (dirt?)
  • lively coffee (does that mean it has an extra caffeine kick?)

Well if any Starbucks marketing clown reads this, please drop the hype and just tell me what types of coffees are in the blend.  I like your coffee not your marketing.

16 comments:

TechnoBabe said...

Here, here, great post, lisleman. What a hype, if I had read cedary on a coffee package it would turn me off instantly. You are right about the packaging being cool. I love my coffee and we buy 25 pounds at a time of French Roast beans. And I also get 5 pounds at a time of decaf strong Columbian beans. I can live without many things but not my good coffee. We rarely go to Starbucks since we moved to Nebraska. There was a Starbucks in the town we just moved from but out here Scooters is the place to go. We stopped at a Scooters in Omaha last week and I had the best decaf mocha ever.

Jillsy Girl said...

Syrupy?? WTF! Who wants syrupy coffee?

Kristina P. said...

I don't drink coffee, and I definitely don't want to drink anything that tastes like my cedar chest.

lisleman said...

wow there's a place without a Starbucks and humans live there? You are a real pioneer. Yes good coffee in the morning some good beer in the evening with a few laughs = a damn good day.
thanks

lisleman said...

agree

lisleman said...

agree

lisleman said...

I read that too fast the first time - I missed the second "don't". So I thought you love your cedar chest smell so much you might be found hiding in it.
thanks

secret agent woman said...

I don't know about cedary - I pretty much code coffees as "bitter" and "good." But then I'm only willing to drink coffee-flavored coffee - adding any other flavor renders it not-coffee for me.

lisleman said...

the only flavor I will add is hazelnut. Most of the time it is just coffee - black.
The cedar thing was not an added flavor but a description (by who?) of the taste. You got me thinking (dangerous thing) that one could add dirt for an earthy flavor.

Thisstopwilloughby said...

Cedary? Hmmm, doesn't sound appealing to me! I love coffee, Dunkin Donuts brand is a favorite in our house.

Cheeseboy said...

Cedary is not a word unless you are a gay lumberjack.

lisleman said...

THAT'S IT - you have the same marketing dumbness oh I mean genius as the Starbucks team. Their target audience is the latte gay lumberjack! Not being either (of course nothing wrong with it) I would have never guess. Thanks for the insight.

lisleman said...

I wonder if coffee would remind my wife of me. She hates coffee but I bet if she saw a dirty french press it would probably remind her of me.

Kristin_The_Goat said...

I ran a coffeehouse and I didn't drink the coffee, but I always laughed when customers asked me what the coffee tasted like. I could only tell them what the blend was or the strong or lightness of the brew. Usually I'd just ask them to taste it and see what they thought. :)

Love all the y's - earthy, cedary, syrupy.

Kristin - The Goat

lisleman said...

good to know a honest straight forward coffeehouse
thanks

savannah said...

THAT'S what i'm missing this december, sugar! the MITM usually buys christmas blend as soon as it's out. well, i mean, besides the MITM! guess i'll be stopping at starbucks tomorrow. xoxoxox

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